Hey all, back again!

First up, here's an article about the current state of the country.



zombie virus pfizer

Pfizer are already working on a "vaccine" for it.


Rag Watch

We've got a new Rag Watch for you!


Velma from Scooby Doo

Is a Lezza.


And finally...

We have to wish all readers a very Happy Christmas.  Thank you to all who supported The Toast this year, it's been a difficult one!

We have to thank those who kept us going when we went a bit AWOL.

Rest assured, we've renewed for another year!

Thanks to all who sent stuff in, even if it was just linking up to articles - everything is appreciated.

This will be the last update of the year; over the Christmas holidays I'll be upgrading to the latest version of Joomla.  This is a major upgrade which entails lots of "fucking about" (technical term) so if we disappear we've either been "had away" (not Hadaway, that's different) or I've fucked it up!

Have a lovely Christmas folks, see you on the other side.

xxx (No homo) 


PM Rishi Sunak has been at COP27 which is a climate change event and not a defendant in another police corruption scandal.

Anyway, at the event he promised "climate reparations" to countries such as Pakistan.

Wait on, we're paying Pakistan for what?  Oh, it's because we started the industrial revolution and therefore we must owe them money for hundreds of years of pollution.

Utter madness.  At a time where people are going to struggle to put food on the table as well as heat their homes AND still be able to subscribe to "Babes TV"  we're giving money away to other countries.

We don't owe any other country a thing.  Correct me if I'm wrong but we've given money to countries before who have had disasters, where does that money go?

Does it not go towards fixing the problem they had before?  It must not do.

And really, should we be giving money to ANY country that has a space programme?  Should we fuck.


COVID Amnesty

The Atlantic suggested we have a COVID Amnesty. 

I suggest getting fucked.


And finally...

Here's Monkey Pods Episode 2 - Just Stop, Just Stop Oil.



Hi everyone!

So what's happened since the last update?  Well, Rishi Sunak became Prime Minister even though he lost the voting against Liz Truss.

Boris Jonners tried to return, said he had enough votes to compete but then didn't.  Penny Mordaunt pulled out of the race too leaving just Sunak left who automatically became PM.

Proper democracy that.



Social Media Shitheads

I don't like to gloat when someone dies (usually) but Karma is a bitch sometimes.


Trapped in a ford?  Looks more like a VW to me.


Climate Change

is bollocks.


And finally...

Leicestershire Police stuck this bollocks up on Twitter, claiming the person in it was subjected to anti-trans abuse and that "her" male name is used instead of "her" female name.

An act known as "Deadnaming".

leics police 1

We know the Police have gone all woke, when they attend and partake in Pride events and donning LGB rainbows from their uniform to their cars.

But they didn't bank on people doing a bit of digging arouns this one.

leics police 2

Because here's the picture they used....

and that it can also be found on Stock Image websites:

leics police 3

So basicallty, it's a load of bollocks.  Leicestershire Police has to fess up and admit it wasn't real.

Call the cops.


Until next time, bitches!


Hey all, back again.

The UK political situation is in absolute chaos right now, what we're seeing is the last days of democracy.


The speed of science

I'm hoping 2 updates back you read this article?

And in particular you watched the video from this tweet?

Did you spot the Pfizer Pfucker when she spouted the line about the "speed of science?"

I mean, just what IS the speed of science?

Is it a thing?

speed of science

"Me? Driving too fast officer?  Oh no, I was doing the speed of science see"

It's all bollocks and the Pfuckers at Pfizer know it.  

There's only one definition of the "Speed of science" when it comes to those bastards and it looks like this:

speed of science counter


Remember the Wifi Blaster?

Course you do...

Well, I've found a new scam device!


See you again soon!





Yo!  Said we'd be back soon... You were expecting Christmas first eh?!

This was due yesterday (19th) but football was on.. and then today's proceedings could have derailed this whole thing!  What a fucking mess politics is in the UK right now.

Had to get this out so we didn't delay even more...


clickbait costner

I'm sure she does, but that's Kevin Costner mate


Beth Wetter

She thinks we need a new law!


Nutter Alert!

A former nurse claimed on Jeremy Vile Vine's show that "Conservative voters do not deserve to be resuscitated on the NHS" and then claimed she was the victim of a witch hunt on Twitter!

miranda hughes

Miranda Hughes, 46 (yeah right!) claimed that she will now lose her job.

Hughes, who works (or did LOL) for a London based private healthcare provider said, "They can do that to me because of their media policy. I am not allowed to say anything. I have brought the company into disrepute so yes I am being sacked."

Imagine being this much of a victim.

She added, "I am going to lose my job because the Twitterati have gone to town."

Well yes, if you're going to go on live TV and claim that certain people (be it "voters", smokers or people of a different race) don't deserve to be resuscitated then you're going to face a backlash, you stupid woman.

She actually ended with, “I am being vilified for being some monster that doesn’t care and unfortunately the problem is I care too much."

Honestly!  You cannot make this up.


Would I lie to you?

russia bridge

Yes, of course.  A set of stamps was designed and drawn, submitted for proofing, print and distributed all in the space of a day.

Definitely not a proxy war, honest!

If you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you, but this one's not on fire and there's no stamps depicting it, yet.


Crisis?  What crisis?

Oh that one


Newspaper Headlines - Alternative Endings


"Contract Cholera"

And finally...

Tabatha Higgs-Boson needs to make some cutbacks.


We'll be back at the weekend to discuss the latest shenanigans!  See you then!