Ding Dong the Witch is dead!

Well, not quite.  Theresa May has finally succumbed to the calls to quit.

To be honest she should never have been PM in the first place, she's been absolutely useless and generally disliked by all.

What has she achieved?  Nothing.  Other than winding people up.

Her face, her voice - they went together as a force of evil.  Saying that, I've said before I don't necessarily think she was deliberately evil, she just lacked any sense of compassion, empathy or any other feeling.

She was a terrible Home Secretary, what on earth convinced people to think she'd be a good PM?

Ultimately, Brexit was her undoing.  She kept on repeating the "Brexit means Brexit" and "Leave means Leave" lines, somehow trying to convince herself that she really meant it.

She had the gall in her resignation speech to tell the nation that she did everything in her power to "deliver Brexit".

theresa may empty desk

When in reality this is what 3 years of "Brexiteering" has produced.

She should have come clean sooner.  Yes, the Referendum result was to leave, but if it was deemed that leaving truly was the end of the world and that we'd be plagued by White Walkers forever more then she should have said.

She's pretended to sort out leaving for 3 years, although really we know she only started trying to "do a deal, guv" at the back end of 2018.

She's tried to get the same deal through Parliament several times, each time being told, "Oi! May! Nooooo!  It's the same deal as last time you clown"

To which she replied, in Monty Python fashion, "No it isn't!"

Where that leaves Brexit now is anyones guess but we have to be glad that May is off, she has to be remembered as the most useless and hated PM's of our time.

 

Mi mi mi mi mi mi mi more Milkshake

Milkshakes are the new Nazi slur

 

And finally...

The ASA and the Church

 

I know, I know!  It's been a few weeks since the last update, I've just been so busy!

Missed a few events including the whole Shamima Begum thing which would have been good material.

I won't go much into it as it's kind of old news now but what I don't understand is just why the Independent were so keen to get her back to the UK, their level of campaign was akin to the Daily Express with Diana.

Sajid Javid's revoking of her citizenship was pretty much an act of bravado, deep down we all know it can't stand as it contravenes international law as a person is not allowed to become stateless.  I'm not sure if she'll ever leave that camp now though but if she does you can guarantee she'll end up back in he UK, I just hope she faces justice properly.  I'm also very sceptical about her baby.

It seems odd that the stories about her wanting to come home only came out just as she was about to give birth, then the baby dies within days.  Was it really her baby or just someones at the camp?

 

Brexit

It's an absolute farce isn't it?  Here's my latest!

 

Until next time!

 

Ever get those leaflets through your door from estate agents?

"Due to a strong demand in your area we urgently require properties for potential buyers"

Bullshit.  More like, "Due to us struggling like fuck, we're trying to artificially create a market where we'll tell you people want to buy your house and in turn persuade you to buy another house through us as well"

Cynical, moi?

 

E-bay makes you loads of money!

I hate E-bay adverts

 

The Police are a bit shit #592

Did you hear about the guy who was contacted by Police because he liked a post on Twitter?

There's no punchline, it's all true.

Harry the Owl liked and retweeted a limerick about gender and was contacted by a Police Officer from Hull who found his details by contacting the man's workplace.

Which is a bit weird and doxxy.

You can read the full thread here.

It's a truly awful situation given that the Police Officer in question said he'd committed no crime, and despite Harry suggesting he didn't write the tweet the response from the Police was, "Ah, but you liked it and promoted it"

I mean, what the fuck is going on?

Please read the full story here, it's horrendous that the Police can act in this way.

Do the Police in Hull not have anything better to do?

No, I guess not.  It's not like crime has spiked there has it?

It's truly horrific that the Police are out there, abusing their powers trying to get people into trouble for a crime that hasn't been committed.  Telling people to "check their thinking".

It's no wonder people hold the Police in utter contempt, when they claim budgets and staff are being cut, they're not short staffed at all when they have people trawling the internet looking for some hurt feelings.

You there!  It appears you've had too much to THINK!

 

Banking Adverts

Why are banking adverts bad AIDS?

Prince Philip had an accident the other day and of course the haters are out.

I hadn't realised this country had so many insurance claim and law experts until the accident, now it seems everyone has not just an opinion (which everyone is entitled to) but they're so right, you know, like properly right.

Experts, the lot of them.  Even the ones on the dole and the nail bar owners.

Hell, even the "victim" herself is an expert, according to the Daily Mirror.

The paper says that Emma Fairweather (I wonder if she's just a fair weather dri.. [PACK IT IN, ED]) believes Prince Philip should be PROSECUTED if found to be at fault.  What a ridiculous statement, and even more of a ridiculous thing for a shit rag as the Mirror to print.  The police don't prosecute people for being at fault in an accident, unless of course they're drink driving or causing death by dangerous driving.

None of these cases are true.  What a stupid claim to make.

Mind you, when you look at her you can see she's the type, proper gobshite looking.

prince philip crash compofaceI mean, just LOOK at that compo face, "Oooh my poor wrist".  

Emma then goes on to moan about the fact that Philip has got a new car and is already back on the road, like he isn't entitled to do so!

She practically says he shouldn't be driving because it's not like he has to go out for shopping.  Who the fuck is she to decide who can and can't drive.

I bet she's a bastard vegan.

Meanwhile, on Twitter all the tolerant lefties were out in support.  Not of Philip you hear, but those weirdo JC4PM types who think Philip should be "euthanized".

Nice people.

One particular is this woman, Nicola James who tweeted (probably typing really HARD as she was so pissed off):

prince philip nicola james2

prince philip nicola james1

I mean, really!  Both the Queen and Prince Philip driving around without a seat belt on!  What utter contempt!

However, what Nicola doesn't even want to contemplate is that they might have been driving around their own private fucking land, on which you don't HAVE to wear a seatbelt.

Also, there's the matter of it being the damned Queen, she's immune from any civil or criminal proceedings.

Oh and maybe, just maybe they're advised NOT to wear a seat belt just in case there's an attack or something.

I'm pretty sure Lady Diana was advised not to wear a seatbelt.  By Philip.

And to claim Philip was "driving dangerously" could be classed as libel.  Which I hope it is, and Nicola is sent to the Gulags.  The Gulags which the lefties claim were actually OK. (Look it up)

And finally, Nicola, I assume you have NEVER been in a taxi?  Because I have never in my 44 years on this planet EVER seen a taxi driver wearing a seatbelt.

So, if not wearing a seatbelt gets you all bedwetty take yourself off to your local taxi rank - you will literally piss your fucking knickers.

 

Don't be a racist!

Find yourself sometimes (always, Ed) disagreeing with Diane Abbott?  You're probably a racist.

Check yourself on the Diane Abbott Racism Matrix

 

Speaking of racism

There's a new TV show in 'Merica called "That White People Shit" that basically pokes fun at white people and their hobbies etc.

Now, having a show that takes the piss is one thing, deliberately targetting white people isn't.  

If we had a programme called "Look at Black People and Laugh" there'd be so much outrage it's untrue, so how come it's OK the other way round?

#WhitePeoplesShitHobbiesMatter

 

He ain't half cold, Mum

In the sad passing of Windsor Davies, we look at why TV doesn't honour stars anymore.

 

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