Welcome to another update, let's kick it off...

Whatever happened to the Bogeyman?

Nobody does Brexit better

Actually heard someone on the radio today say "Jeremy Corbyn should run Brexit as he will do a better job".

OK, just a slight problem with that, Labour didn't win the General Election so how on earth is the Leader of the Opposition (and therefore Shadow PM) going to run something that is run only by the elected Government?

It's absolutely ridiculous some of the shit that people come out with.  There's still a head in the sand mentality of some who think that Labour actually won the election.  You had your chance, it didn't work, wait until the next time.  But saying "They're not the Government" in your head doesn't make it true, you bastard mentalist.

Try saying "There's no place like home" three times and fucking off.

 

Time for a short rant...

Shit adverts on the radio

 

Tory Conference

Theresa May coughed and spluttered her way through a pretty cringey speech this week at the Tory Conference.

Mrs May was poorly sick, having had a cough and a cold all week.

According to some, that means she has to step down.

And then some idiot who plays a terrible "comedian" character on TV managed to get in and hand her a P45.

According to some, that means she has to step down.

And then a letter fell off the wall.

According to some, that means she has to step down.

Bit of a pattern here, no?

You want a woman who had a cough to resign because her speech wasn't as good as it could have been, because she was coughing up a lung?  And I'm in no doubt that had she not done the speech there would have been calls for her to step down for shirking responsibility.

At least she turned up for work, unlike Diane Abbott.  Theresa May has diabetes and showed up to work, Abbott was diagnosed with Type 15 Diabetes and had a few days off.  Or was that because she was sidelined for being an incompetent fool?

Lee Nelson got in and handed her a copy of a P45.  Hilarious.  You think Theresa May should step down because some hairy arsed security guard didn't do his job?

Same for the letter that fell off the wall.  I actually heard some one say "If they can't organise their own conference how on earth can they run the country?"

Really?  You honestly think the MP's and the PM are the one ones with the PMR radios doing the security and sticking letters up on a wall?

Then you're even more stupid than you look.

Let me be clear, I'm not a fan of Theresa May by any stretch of the imagination, but none of those issues are her fault.  Now, if she's suddenly been found to have embezzled £10m from the public purse to spend on Veet or she's found to have Madeline McCann at her house then call for her to step down.

If she makes terrible decisions in future policies, call for her to step down.

Asking her to step down because she's got a cough is absolute lunacy and you need to get yourself in the fucking sea.

And finally...

What has happened to comedy?

 

Hey, welcome back!

This time let's start with Ragwatch and in particular an article about paedophiles & chicken nuggets.

 

Bake off bruhaha

It all kicked off in Bake Off last week when Noel Fielding began the show hiding in a fridge.

Apparently loads of snowflakes were offended by it because they "thought" that it might encourage kids to get in the fridge.

Now, I don't watch Bake Off but I'd like to defend Noel's actions as thus:

1 - The fridge was empty other than having Noel in it.  Who the fuck has a fridge at home with nothing in it?  Apart from poor people, granted.

2 - Noel Fielding is known to be a bit off the wall, doing "kerazy" things.  This is just another one of those.  Leave him alone, you dicks.

3 - Kids don't watch Bake Off.

4 - Kids don't get in fridges.  Apart from those 3 kids in the 80's which gave us the classic Knock Knock joke:

Knock knock
Who's there?

Knock knock
Who's there?

Knock knock
Who's there?

Three kids in a fridge.

It really is a silly thing to get worked up about, isn't it?

 

The fox is in the coop

A rapist who had a sex change whilst in prison was moved to a female prison and guess what?  She has been placed in segregation after making unwanted advances to the inmates.

Martin Ponting still has a cock, but seeing as though he now "identifies" as a woman (by changing his name to Jessica) he's been transferred to a female prison.

Staff are said to be "stunned".  Really?  You really didn't see that coming?

It's a bit like a fox attacking chickens, being captured, telling his captors that he now identifies as a chicken and being placed in a coop along with said chickens.

And then wondering why the foxy bastard eats all the chickens.

I'm wondering if I was arrested for something I could "identify" myself as "innocent".

Gotta let me go then, bruv, innit.

 

Girl, you'll be a woman soon.  Possibly a man.  Or a tree.

Here's a rant about Gender Bollocks (And fannies)

 

Doing a lot of work for charidee

Mark tells us: Madness are releasing a charity record for the victims of the Caribbean hurricane. 

It's called, "Our house, in the middle of someone else's street."
 
Huzzah!
 
And finally...
 
Here's a rant on Humourless nerks.
 
See you soon, bitches. 

Back from the hols

Hope you all had a nice summer, I'm hoping to get back to regular updates again now, even if we push small ones out.

As the nurse said to the constipation sufferer.

 

Speaking of nurses

The NHS turned down £2500 raised by a charity group because the members of the charity were dressed as female nurses.

The charity, based in Ludlow has been doing the sponsored bed push for 20 years but now the NHS have decided it's an issue because, "The presentation of men dressed as female nurses in a highly sexualised and demeaning way is wrong, very outdated and insulting to the profession"

Now, I don't know what nurses Chief Executive Jan Ditheridge sees on a day to day basis but the men, some with beards don't look very sexualised to me.

Frankly, if the NHS is as strapped for cash as it makes out, it should be happy to receive every penny, even if it's been raised by selling heroine to homeless bums.

 

Storm Irma

Is currently battering the United States, after that it's Storm Jose and then Storm Katia.

As you may or may not know, the storms alternate between female and male names as it progresses through the alphabet.

However, how long will it be before some left libtard wants to make storm names gender neutral?

It won't be long!  I'm surprised it hasn't happened already, if I'm honest!

Soon all storms will have to be called Ashley or Kim or Jan.

Hell, let's take it even further and just give them numbers instead, just in case someone called Whitney gets offended when there's a storm named after her.

 

Rag Watch

Two new articles in Rag Watch this time:

Huge fight at GQ Awards, thousands dead.

Paul Hollywood is a bloody Nazi!

 

And finally...

Speaking of Nazi's (seamless bruv), here's a new rant about Nazi's!

Gah!  Busy again...  The time seems to go so quickly and I don't get time to update.

I promise I'll get a hold on things after the holidays!

Anyway, let's start with a story about a "model" who was apparently drugged and kidnapped, and was to be sold on an online auction.

Twenty year old Chloe Ayling had travelled to Milan to attend a photo shoot when she was kidnapped and held captive for 5 days.

Seems very fishy.

Especially when you do a search for her name and find this:

"A TOP Daily Star Page 3 model was left terrified after getting caught up in the drama of the Paris terrorist attack last night.
Chloe Ayling, 19, had arrived in Paris for a photo shoot and was walking along the Champs-Elysées when the incident unfolded."
 
Gosh, isn't she unfortunate eh?  Twice she's travelled abroad to a photo shoot and twice she's been involved in an incident.  What are the chances of that?
 
It's the biggest load of shit since the McCanns story.
 
 
I don't like the name of this shop, let's change it!
 
There's a guy who thinks Mothercare should be rebranded.
 
 
Democracy is still not a thing.
 
That's right, after last year's Brexit Referendum and this years General Election where people didn't like the result, they chose not to accept it and didn't recognise the result.

Now, not recognising the result is a bit stupid; there's not agreeing with the result of something (I've done that plenty times in elections) and then there's the childish fingers in the ears "la la la I can't hear you" not accepting something.

I've talked about this kind of thing a few times, at times it feels like I'm a bit of a broken record but I always find the facts to back up my moaning.

That's what I'm interested in see, facts and common sense.  Not sensationalism, or campaigning or trying to get you to change your mind about things.

We can't change what has happened, so we just have to get on with it, democracy is after all the result of a vote.

I could understand it if the Government decided upon Brexit without a referendum, the public not consulted on their opinion etc.  You'd be bloody well right to be fucked off then.

But when the country has voted and the vote is to leave, we have to accept it.

This guy though, he's not convinced:

So, what he's saying is this:

"We had a vote on something, which is democratic but as it wasn't the result I wanted then it isn't democratic.  So we'll make sure we have another referendum and if the country does a Theresa May style U-Turn and we decide against Brexit then that's democratic"

You really can't make this shit up.

Back again soon, I promise :)

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