31st August 2016

Traingate

Labour leader and prize plonker, Jeremy Corbyn has reacted angrily to Virgin owner Richard Branson after a publicity stunt went badly wrong.

Jeremy made a big fuss about being sat on the floor during the journey, alleging he was unable to find a seat on a packed train.

However, Virgin responded with CCTV evidence that old Corbo was "talking out of his arse".

Corbyn then retaliated by saying he hoped Sir Richard was well aware of his plans to nationalise the railways.

Now, dear Jeremy, we all have plans.

Like the way I'm planning to make sweet love to Rachel Riley, Susanna Reid and Liz Hurley all in one night.  

You see, there's plans and there's plans.

You need to be in power, which is about as likely as me boning any of the above stunning bits o' kit let alone all 3 in what would be described as "an amazing night".

(That's their words, not mine)

You're making yourself look like a right cock, Jez, me old chum.

There was no need to do the train stunt, you could have had a seat and still moaned about the trains.

We all know the trains in this country are a bag of shite, lord knows I commuted to Manchester on the train for 2 years until I could do no more.  You don't need to tell me about not getting a seat.

Instead of taking pictures of yourself sat on the floor like a twat, you should have been doing what the rest of us do on the trains, take pictures of weirdos.

And upskirt shots.

You'll never make it, lad.

 

Facebook Fuckwitts

Over in Facebook Fuckwitt Corner, there are 2 idiots.

Water plonker

The Jeremy Corbyn lover

 

And finally...

When did we become so soft?

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