3rd November 2016

Boom, pop, fizz.

And so the crappy part of the years continues, after Halloween comes the crapfest that is Bonfire Night.

Or as retards call it “Bomfire” or even “Bombfire” Night.

It’s not the bonfires themselves that piss me off, but more the fireworks.

Fireworks shouldn’t be available for the general public, they’re a menace.

It’s been a problem for a few years now, as soon as they’re available there’s people letting them off every night, all the way up to November 5th, and beyond.

I know that shops are now limited to when they can sell them but it doesn’t stop some of these shops who can somehow sell them all year round.

I am firmly of the belief that fireworks should only be able to be sold to and used for organised displays.

Am I being a miserable killjoy here?  Not really, just think about it.

You can either go to a well organised display, where the standard of firework (no pun intended) is of the highest quality and where you’ll see a great display.  You might have to pay a small entrance fee, but you’ll probably get pie and peas.  Maybe even some Parkin.

Or you can go to the Malone’s round the corner, go through £100 of substandard fireworks in 3 seconds and probably see bugger all. 

If the use of fireworks is limited to proper organised displays then we won’t have accidents, vandalism and general fuckery associated with a country littered with retards.

 

Hve u gt insurence?

Facebook has blocked a trial by Insurer Admiral who wanted to view young drivers' profiles in order to use them when pricing premiums.

The app was supposed to look at the user's likes and posts in order to judge their safety as a driver.  If the driver was deemed "not a fucking dickhead" they'd offer a discount.

Have you SEEN the profiles of today's youth?  I've not seen many, mainly because I'm not a paedophile but the ones I have seen are dreadful!

In between duckface pictures, eyebrows "on fleek", likes of "My mum said if I can get 100000 likes I can get some new breasts" and posts that start with "OMG" I'm not surprised Admiral wanted to give it a go, they probably wanted to put the prices up for the stupid twats.

 

Satire

Ryan Giggs in line for every job going

And finally...

We'll be back over the weekend with another update... :)

 

 

Copyright © 2000-2017 Monkey on Toast. All rights Reserved.