23rd November 2016

Manchester United insider and Toast Fan "Paul Scold" tells us:

England and Man United Captain Wayne Rooney has been in the spotlight of late because he enjoyed a night on the piss at a wedding.

Cue lots of ex footballers jumping to his defence along the lines of “It was his night off, he can do what he wants”.

No, no he can’t.

You see, he’s supposed to be a professional footballer.  He’s the wrong side of 30 and is paid £300K a week.

No, you might say, “But it’s just one night, he’s entitled to a bit of fun, no?

He’s entitled to lots of nights of fun, as we all are.  However, we’re not professional sportsmen paid a fucking fortune are we?

And it’s not just one night, he has been drinking and smoking heavily for years. 

Rooney was with the England setup, when it became apparent he wasn’t going to make the game against Spain.  Whilst some players went out clubbing, Rooney decided to stay in the hotel and ended up at a wedding party.

Having sunk a few and getting a bit lairy, he’d been told to go to bed by the then England caretaker manager, Gareth Southgate. 

Which he did.  Well, he got up to his room, waited for Southgate and co to disappear and then went back down to the bar.

Now, the story is not quite how the papers made out.  He didn’t gate-crash the wedding party, he was invited over by the groom.

But he got absolutely hammered and fell asleep on the keys of a piano at 5 in the morning.

Which makes an absolute mockery of those jumping to his defence, claiming he only had 1 drink.

Maybe he did have 1 drink, but it was a great fucking big one that lasted at least 7 hours.

This kind of behaviour is not new to Rooney, who has struggled with his weight over the last few years.  Unsurprisingly, there has been a sharp decline in his fitness and form over the last 3 years or so.

These things are absolutely linked.

After the story first broke, Rooney made a mealy-mouthed apology before appearing to retract it with an outburst after the United vs Arsenal game at the weekend, claiming his England career isn’t over, he deserves more respect and “enough is enough”.

Which is probably what one of the guests said when Rooney was spotted getting handy with his wife/girlfriend and almost knocked the fat scouser out.

The fact is, Rooney isn’t in a position to do what he wants.  He’s paid to be a professional athlete, and at the moment he is neither.

Both Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi are a similar age, Ronaldo, if memory serves is older than Rooney.  When was the last time you saw Ronaldo pissed out of his head?  Never.

The guy is tee-total, as he wants to prolong his illustrious career.

When was the last time you saw Messi smoking and trying to touch up someone else’s wife?  Never.

There’s nothing stopping Rooney from spending the rest of his life, post-football, being a dribbling pisscan but anyone with some common sense and conscience should be looking at their contribution to both their teams, knuckling down and getting themselves fit.

Rooney is not capable of this, because he’s earning a ridiculous amount of money regardless of whether he plays or not.

He’s often surrounded himself by people who suck up to him, defend his actions and generally give him good press.

These are starting to dwindle now, people can no longer defend his shenanigans and continue to back a player who has the touch of a rapist.

I only had a liccle one, hic!

Log this!

Logging your internet is nothing new.


Show us yer thingy!

Need a passport to get healthcare?

Copyright © 2000-2019 Monkey on Toast. All rights Reserved.