Prime Minister and general cretin Theresa May has pledged to fight ISIS if she wins the General Election next week.

May, who cuts her own hair with a 1970's style device, plans to infiltrate the set of arseholes (ISIS, not the Tories) and get them addicted to Spice.

Plans are already afoot and a sleeper, well, "stupified" cell has been assembled and is ready to head off to Iraq and Syria as early as next Friday where they will offer the legal high to the fighters in order to turn them into Jihadi Junkies.

The Monged Militia will then be murdered while they are off their mash.

The plan, devised by the Secretary of State for Defence is a last ditch plan to combat the ever growing group of wankers who want to impose Sharia Law on the world.

Spice up your life

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