Halloween is too scary

Halloween has been branded as "too scary" by a mum from Cobham, we can exclusively reveal.

Melanie Snowflake told us, "It's just way too scary for my kids.  Halloween should be a time of year for going to people's houses and blackmailing them into giving money or sweets."

She continued, "My kids are just so sensitive, I don't know why it has to be scary things we dress up in.  I feel so triggered right now!"

"My girls, Chelsea and Chardonnay feel frightened just putting the costumes on, it's like they really believe they will become actual witches, which is odd because they're 26 and 24 and both successful nail artists".

It is thought the Metropolitan Police is investigating further.


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