Stroking your cat without permission is sexual assault

Stroking your cat without permission is sexual assault says some dickhead from a university.

Miss Tilly Tiddles from the University of Swanage made the claim in a lecture around sexual conduct on campus.

Tiddles, 56, claims that not asking a cat's permission before stroking is wrong and likened it to being "molested up the minge by a filthy man".

The lecturer who has never had a boyfriend has 6 cats and says her relationship with her feline friends is more important.

Her claims are thought to stem from a time when the gas man came to service her boiler (only service she's ever had -Ed) and upon seeing one of her cats, Mr Scratchy, went to stroke without asking.  Tilly was horrified and made the gas man leave immediately.

 

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