Richard Reid Shoe Fetish

Would-be terrorist Richard Reid has developed an alarming shoe fetish in jail, Monkey on Toast prison analysts can reveal.

Reid, 42 tried to detonate explosives in his shoes during a flight from Paris to Miami in 2001 but was subdued by passengers and later jailed for 3 life terms plus 110 years.

During his incarceration at a maximum security prison he has become increasingly dependent on a range of footwear to get him through his days.

The erratic behaviour of Reid, dubbed the “Shoe Bomber” by the media has become a concern to prison officials.

It is believed the failed fanatic:

  • Obtained a pair of old Reebok Pump basketball shoes via E-bay and turned them into a garden display
  • Parades around prison in stiletto shoes
  • Regularly has sex with pair of fur lined  Espadrilles given to him as a gift
  • Masturbates furiously over a Clark’s shoe catalogue from 1986

Prison officers and fellow inmates have now started to called Red “The Shoe Bummer”.

Still, at least he won’t need to attend Court at any point and can continue to spend his days as a Loafer as he atones for his moccaSINS. 

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