Davidson, Jim Davidson.

jim davidson

News reaches Monkey on Toast indicating former comedian Jim Davidson is to become the next James Bond.

Showbiz analysts connected to the “Big Break” presenter Davidson, 62, has signed a deal committing to 3 new films.

The films, expected to be remakes of old Bond titles with new names are:

  • A View to the Nick (Nick)
  • The Spy from Yewtree
  • On Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs

It is thought that Bond’s boss, M, will be replaced by a character known as “Chalky”.  Lennie Henry and Derek Griffiths are in contention for the role.

A source close to Monkey on Toast, Paris Noncemeat told us, “Jim’s had a glittering career as an actor.  He spent years pretending to be a comedian and then starred in shows such as ‘Up the Elephant and round the Castle’ and ‘Home James’.  Both big shows that won countless awards and set him up for a knighthood.

Other sources close to MoT believe Paris Noncemeat to be off her head on gin and cocaine.

We’ll leave it for you to decide.

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