Chris Evans new town crier

Top Gear presenter Chris Evans is to take over the role of Town Crier for Stroud, we can exclusively reveal.

MoT Town Cryer analyst Percy Whipsnade said, “The current incumbent for Stroud, Ken Dalmint-Cake, will retire at the end of the August which leaves a vacancy for Chris.

Evans has been slated for his shouty behaviour on the new series of Top Gear, in which he has taken over from legendary presenter Jeremy Clarkson.

One Top Gear fan told us, “He just shouts at everything, he’s quite annoying

The ginger shoutbag is expected to relish his forthcoming role although it is not without concern, as one councillor for Stroud told our analyst, “He will have to undergo training to ensure he shouts Hear Ye, Hear Ye and not Hear Me!  Hear Me!

Meanwhile, a fan survey run by  Lepidopterist Pricetag found Evans came 2nd in a poll of annoying shouty piss-stain presenters and voice over artists which included Brian Blessed and Peter Dickson.

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