Van Gaal to take up ISIS defence role

Manchester United manager Louis van Gaal is set to leave the football club and take up a post suggested by Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn.

louis van gaalThe leftie pacifist leader has put Van Gaal forward for a "buffer defence role" which will ensure that not only will the United Kingdom be defended from ISIS terrorist attacks,but also there will be no retaliatory attacks on ISIS in return.

Van Gaal has been criticised this season for his tactics of scoring no goals and thinks this is the new role for him.

"This is a role I have been preparing for for a long time," said the napalm faced moomin, "I've made a career of being heavily defensive and not striking the opposition."

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