UK bans flags

The United Kingdom has agreed to dispense with its array of flags, a Monkey on Toast Flag Dispensing analyst has revealed.

Due to the rise in immigrants from all over the world in recent years, the UK has decided the Union Flag is so offensive to other people that its flag will be all white.

Oh wait.  Hang on.

That’s a bit racist isn’t it?

Update:  The UK flag will now be all black.

Shit.

Is that racist?

Yellow.  All yellow.

Balls.

Brown?  That’s OK isn’t it?

Fuck.

UPDATE UPDATE: The UK has decided to ban its flag altogether so as not to upset anyone from any other country.

Those flying the St George flag from their houses will be punished severely, especially if they’re from Sports Direct and a football tournament is on.

The chav bastards.

The move has been brought in order to accommodate people from all over the world and to make them feel like they’re not in another country.

No thought has gone into the fact that every country in the world has a flag, including the country the people had originally come from.  And it never bothered them then.

Nor were they arsed when they passed through 5 countries on the way, each proudly displaying their flag.

A spokesman for the steering group “Bag the Flag” told our undercover reporter, “We want to take away the identity of the country so everyone who comes here won’t be forced to see a little bit of fabric with some lines on”.

It’s really distressing for them”, continued Anita Babb, “they see this fabric flapping in a breeze or stuck to cars when the World Cup is on and it reminds them of home

Another member, Wanky Sweatvest told us, “When they see the St George Cross it reminds them of the Crusades which happened like a thousand years ago when none of the current people were alive and able to corroborate any of the stories that we’ve been told

Unfortunately, she continued, “If we can just take away the identity of our country then we’ll have achieved something great!

When it was put it to her that the flag was used for all manner of reasons including to identify the nationality of boats and during the Eurovision song contest Ms Sweatvest told us, “Oh, right.  Really?  Wow.  Anita!  Anita!  We need to talk!

How Eurovision would look in the future

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