EU bans Black Olives

EU officials are set to ban black Olives, we can exclusively reveal.

EU spokesman Babylon Alcatraz told a Monkey on Toast Black Olive Analyst the Mediterranean delicacy is to be banned because it does not fit in with the EU’s policy of recommending “5 a day” fruit and veg which has become less popular in recent times.

However, the move is being widely condemned by lovers of the fruit.  Or veg.  Or whatever it is.

Steven Quesadilla has set up an opposition group, BlackOlivesMatter to garner support for the flagging fruit, with demonstrations already taking place in Peckham, Paris and Wiesbaden.

It’s a bloody outrage”, Steven told us, “they can’t take our Olives away.  Next it will be turnips and finally figs.  We can’t let these bastards win

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