Trans women are demanding their say on FGM, Female Genital Mutilation, says a leading someone somewhere.

While most people are calling for an outright ban on the horrific act, TWA (Trans Women Activists, not the airline) are calling for it to be their choice.

"I'd at least like a say in whether my new lady bits are hacked off", says Candy Pritchard (AKA Dave)

"It's just massively unfair, I feel like we've always having to fight for our rights to things other women just naturally have!", she, er, he, er it continued.

"We might not want to be hacked to bits but I'd bloody well like the choice", Candy said, again.  To be honest, they're getting boring now.

As you can see, Candy is definitely a woman and not at all a dude in a dress with a beard.  No sir, all woman.



An utter tit from Milwaukee says that hit TV show The Walking Dead should be inclusive of Zombies.

Dominic Sexwee says, "Zombies are people too.  Or at least they used to be and as such they should be included in relationships between other characters"

 The utter nutjob made the claim on his blog, "The Wanking Dead" where he's written all sorts of wishy-washy bullshit that nobody reads (Takes one to know one, Ed)

Sexwee is campaigning for Eugene to have a sexual relationship with a zombie, preferably a female.

It is thought AMC are seriously considering adding this to the next season, although there are fears that as zombies can't talk there will be a crowd of bed wetting shit gibbons claiming the sex is non-consensual and will create a #ZeeToo hashtag.

There are also fears of a backlash from the LGBT brigade as it gets extended yet again to LGBTZ.


A secret Brexit deal was leaked last week, a Monkey on Toast Secret Brexit Deal correspondant claims.

It is thought the deal will see the UK staying IN the EU, paying towards the EU and being governed by the EU - exactly as it is now, with the exception that the UK will "officially identify as out of the EU".

The deal, which Prime Minister Theresa May has called "splendid" is a slap in the face for Brexiteers, but as is all too common these days that anyone can identify as anything and they can bloody well have their own way.

Brexit negotiations last week

Road traffic signs could be under review after a cretinous fuck-sock claimed they were racist.

Kevin Ball-Bagg, a builder from Essex made a startling claim whilst in a taxi with his mate Martin Nobhausen.

Ball-Bag, 37, claims that some signs give an air of white supremacy.

"Some signs give an air of white supremacy", he says, "I mean, just fackin' look at the priority sign for example, it's a great big fackin' white arrow to indicate which way has priority.  If that's not fackin' racist I don't know what is!"

Martin, however, attempted to defuse the situation, "Nah maaaaate, it's just a fackin' sign, innit!  It don't mean a fing, you daft fucker".

When asked what colour would be more appropriate for the sign, Ball-Bag was stumped.

"Brown? Nah, black, nah, er. I don't fackin' know do I?  I'm just a fackin' build you cunt!"

And there we have it folks, an absolute mallet.

Trans Activists have slammed Margaret Atwood's novel and TV series, "The Handmaid's Tale" after claiming it does not represent them.

Trans women are incensed at the lack of Trans characters in the show which features a regime similar to ISIS in their thinking, where women are used solely as baby machines and homosexuality in punishable by death.

"The lack of Trans characters just shows the level of bigotry that goes on around us", says Helena Bumhole-Garter, spokesman [SPOKESPERSON, Ed] of the group "Trans Made Tales" - a group set up due to having far too much time on their hands.

However, Trans Men have hit back themslves, claiming to be similarly overlooked and have demanded  a spin-off show which replaces women with Trans Men and want it to be called "The Handmaid's Tail".

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