A Black South African is suing Zynga Games amid claims he owns the land from a computer game.

Tony Umbongo claims that time spent on the game Farmville should be rewarded with actual land.

"I worked that land for years", says Tony who's a little bit gullible and a total cock.

"That land is mine, I worked hard for it.  Grew stuff, reared animals, even had a cheeky bum with a goat", he continued.

"And now I want it back!  I'm uprising like the Blacks in South Africa and Zimbabwe!  We want our land back off Whitey!"

At this, our correspondent, a hot white piece of ass made her excuses and left.


Players of First Person Shooter games like Call of Duty could be tried for war crimes a leading tosspot claims.

Brian Leant from Tonbridge in Kent made the claim during a seminar around the rights of computer game characters.

Leant, 54, who still lives with his mum and is thought to be a rampant paedophile says that computer game characters should have rights and that diplomacy should be invoked prior to engaging in shooting.

Leant says that the player should attempt to talk through their problem with the character first rather than just pumping them full of lead, ripping them to pieces and scattering gory body parts everywhere.  

"I believe that those who don't try the diplomatic option first and just shoot on sight should be tried for war crimes".

What a twat.

Facebook hit a new low this week when it emerged a man posted a picture of his lunch, only for it to be fake.

Mark Kemp from Kent posted the picture on Facebook with the caption:

Just had a cracking Lobster Thermidor for lunch lads!

Lobster Thermidor

However, it turns out Mark actually had a cheese sandwich for his lunch, followed by a packet of Salt and Vinegar Snack-A-Jacks.

This comes during a turbulent time for Facebook amid a data scandal along with fake news being posted to influence people.

It is believed Mark's account has been suspended pending further action as someone at Facebook investigates his claims he had a Dodo egg for breakfast last Thursday and Unicorn steak for tea on Saturday night.

Black and Brown wheelie bins are racist according to a massive knobhead.

Darren Bracton from Clacton made the startling claim whilst in a state of advanced refreshment.

Bracton said, "We put rubbish in bins, sometimes they're black, sometimes brown.  That suggest that black and brown people are full of rubbish".

When it was put to him that plastic bins have been black pretty much from day one because that was the easiest to manufacture he did backtrack a little and then toddled off for some cheese and onion crisps from the bar.

Fucking weapon.

People who use their mobile phone on speakerphone whilst held out in front of their face at a 45 degree angle could end up being wrong-uns, says the ONS.

The Office of Nonsensical Statistics found that "85% of people who use their phone in public like this

have a greater chance of growing up to be bad nonces."

The organisation interviewed one hundred 14 to 16 year olds and of those who said they used their phones in this way were also interested in shagging 14 year olds.

Which makes them massive paedos innit.

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