Peter Jones is dead, long live Peter Jones

When I saw this advert on Facebook I thought, "Oh I didn't know Peter Jones was dead.  That's not been on the news".

peter jones is dead bitcoin

So I clicked it, and what I saw was not a news website telling me how he'd died in a freak yachting accident or that he'd been murdered by Antifa, no it turns out the "Dreadful day in Britain" turned out to be an advert for, wait for it... BITCOIN!  Who the fuck knew?

You've probably guessed by now that I love a quality Bitcoin advert, and this smelled of fakeness within ooh, nanoseconds.

Purporting to be a Forbes article, this was anything but.

forbes bitcoin

Click here for the article that absolutely isn't Forbes.

So, what does the article tell us?

Well, it claims that Peter Jones went on "This Morning with Holly and Phil" and told them both how he "made millions of dollars over the last few months outside of [his] regular businesses".

 Dollars eh?  Oh right.

Go on.

"I'll explain what Bitcoin System is in just a bit. But first, to prove how amazing this system really is. Holly, I'm going to give you £190 to deposit and try it for yourself right now."

Jones then wrote a check to Holly for £190, which she deposited into the system to try for herself. Within minutes, Holly's jaw dropped open as she began making a real profit - on live television!

Ah right.  He wrote out a cheque on air.  Holly then took it to her bank and waited 3 days for it to clear before depositing said funds into the system.  That sounds like a terribly boring episode of This Morning.

 

Within minutes, naturally, Holly began making money LIVE ON AIR!

Bloody astounded she was.

holly amazed

See.  Astounded.

Peter Jones then went to (NOT) say, "That's why I use Bitcoin System to do it for me automatically. It's is backed by Bill Gates, Richard Branson and Mark Zuckerberg - some of the smartest tech minds on the planet".

Richard Branson, a smart tech mind?  Get in the fucking sea.

Jones then swore, LIVE on THIS MORNING WITH HOLLY AND PHIL by saying, "Now I'm not going to bullshit you or your viewers. Not every trade is a profitable one. See, the automated software using advanced machine learning and data modelling to make trades. To be honest, I barely know what that means besides it works very well".

Think this is a load of bullshit yet?

Good, I'm glad, because people will fall for this.  Toast readers won't of course as you're the smart ones. 

Then there's a picture of a guy called James Howie who supposedly phoned the show.  A quick Google Image Search and look!

There's an almost identical article but instead of Peter Jones it's Gordon Ramsey.

He too wrote out a cheque for £195 and gave it to Holly who deposited and started earning money.

Oh and there's Holly astounded all over again.

Frankly I'm astouded too.  She's already worn that top on TV.

And of course there's the obligatory "Reader Results".

 

Hold on, who's this?

lily peterson bitcoin

It's Lily!  She's making $3k+ a week!

Brexit's a fucker then, because before, she was earning £3k+ a week.

bitcoin scam lily

See.

If this system was truly any good they wouldn't need to create fake adverts,the results would speak for themselves.

 

Copyright © 2000-2020 Monkey on Toast. All rights Reserved.