Fucking Hive.

Quite a neat idea, in all fairness, but which Duke of Kunt came up with the adverts?

hive-shithouse-twatsWho the fuck came up with such rhyming couplets as having a kick about with a team of giant trout?  A massive pissflap, that's who.

The advert is so stupid to the point where I wouldn't consider using the product if I was paid to do so.

And I hate the tune.  It's not catchy, it's balls and is sung by a shitstain whose voice I can't stand to listen to.  He reminds of a knob I used to work with called Wayne.

So a few months go by, the advert dies a death.  And then they bring the fucker back.

This time the rhymes are even more forced than an asian male on a white teenage girl.

I didn't think they could get worse but they seemingly can and do, they make less sense than the first round of shite.  I've heard more sense come from Serene Branson after 15 pints of lager.

It's not just the utter tripe from the adverts though, it's the product too.  Initially I thought it was a good idea but when you think about it, it's just using technology for the sake of it.

Have you ever really been on a bus, being bummed by a giant octopus or sitting in your car being fingered by Mark Lamarr?  If you have, Hive, apparently could be busy controlling your heating at home.

Except, I have, like most people, a thermostat that does it for me.  I set the temperatures, I set the time it's supposed to come on and off and it works like a dream.

I don't need to be checking my phone every few minutes to see what temperature my house is and if I should up it by a degree in case my cat's life is on hold cos the bastard is bloody cold. Cos Hive could be busy controlling my heating at home.

So, take your bastard Hive
Stick it where the sun don't shine
and don't bother with British Gas
cos they're a pain in the bastard ass

Cos Hive is a load of shite you don't need at home.

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