Put your phone down and drive

Is it time to put the mobiles down for a minute and just step away?

Are we took immersed in apps that we need to spend every waking second checking?

I got into a lift on Friday morning and 2 people got in.  They were clearly colleagues and were talking quite happily prior to getting in the lift.

The minute they got in, both of them were straight onto their phones, scrolling and staring, utterly devoid of any conversation that was taking part previously.

Add to that, I’ve had to use my car horn more in the last few weeks than ever before as people stop at traffic lights and HAVE to check their phones, totally immersed in some shite instead of keeping an eye on the traffic lights.

As the car in front moves off, dickhead in front continues to peruse the phone.

I sound my horn, the person in front looks up.

Puts phone down.

Starts to drive forward.

The lights change.


Dickhead in front decides to wave, to say “sorry”.

Sorry.  Sorry for being so self-centred that we’ve missed an entire set of lights because Snap-Insta-Twit-Book-Chat is much more important.

But it’s not just happened once, it’s happening on a regular basis now.

If you want to look at the internet on your way to and from work then go by public transport and leave the roads to us that can survive without checking a phone for hours.

Are you so important that you have to check your phone?  Maybe you’ve been sent a new stupid text message that is so important you have to read it right fucking now?

Is it so important that you look at that duck-faced pout your equally vapid friend has sent you? 

Are you such a retard that you’re THAT bored by sitting at traffic lights for a whole minute?  Good grief.

I’m thinking of changing my car horn to a recording of, “Helloooo!  The lights have changed, put down your phone and drive!” or "I say old bean, are you waiting for any particular shade of green?"

Admittedly it is a little wordy so I’ll probably just change it to “Oi cunt!

Not only are you a waste of data, you’re a waste of skin and air.

Put the fucking phone down for bit, you gibbering fuck-pipe.

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