I'm menstruating from home today

There have been calls for ladies to be allowed time off work without penalty when they're menstruating.

A free period, if you like.

Now, how would that work exactly?

Women already have the excuse any time they want some sick leave without being pulled up on it:

Woman: I'm not going to be in today, I'm not well
Boss: Oh, what's the matter?  We could really do with you in, we're really busy
Woman: Women's Problems, mate
Boss: Oh.

And that's it, that can be pulled at any time, probably several times a month.  Bosses don't keep track of women's cycles, that would be a bit weird, so it would never really be questioned.

The Women's Problems excuse is up there with the other classic "sickie" excuses such as:

  • Stress
  • Depression
  • Bad Back

Now, I'm not making fun of mental illness here, don't get me wrong.

I've worked in an environment that was incredibly stressful, it made me ill long term, but it's also one of those excuses that doesn't usually have an outer facing symptom.

Apart from being a bit arsey with people, or telling people to fuck off you'd probably not have known I was suffering with stress.  In fact, you'd have not known any different, you cunt.

Depression is the same, people claim to be depressed because they've had a bad day, their football team lost or they've had to pay 5p for a plastic bag at Tesco.  I've seen depression first hand and it's not nice, but I've also seen people use it as an excuse to have a day or 2 off work.

The bad back is a classic, again, when you're sat at home for a few days claiming you're in agony you can just come back to work and say "Well, I'm all better now"

Again, I'm not mocking the genuine cases, I've also been there and I've worked with people who are martyrs to back pain, but I've also been on the other side where a colleague used it as an excuse to have a couple of days off, usually after some kind of bollocking at work and was therefore no surprise when the call to work the next morning came in.

So, we're not just adding Women's Problems to the list, we're actually wanting to just let ladies have time off when they're got the painters in regardless of whether they're in pain, throwing plates at their husband (or girlfriend) or as calm and wistful as can be.

So, what do blokes get for free?

I reckon we should get a day dedicated to relaxing in a Gentleman's way, I know we've got Saturdays and Sundays for that but a Wednesday Wank is a good way to break the week up, no?

It would be interesting too when filling out your itinerary for the following week, no longer will it be "I'm in all week except Wednesday", no more is it "Working from Home" but "Wanking from Home"

It could catch on, you know.

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