What this clickbait did next is jaw dropping

Clickbait, you've seen it right?

At the bottom of web pages usually online newspapers, especially the ones so heavily driven by adverts that the page takes ages to load despite being on 200 meg broadband and having a super fast computer.

And the adverts are so heavy that I often think the advert IS the news.  The number of times I've thought Kellogg's Cheerios were part of ISIS or were benefit scroungers.

But you can't fail to have noticed that they reuse some of the headlines over and over again, and just change a minute detail?

For example, I've lost track of the number of times that I've been told how a former celebrity/actress/singer looks like now is jaw dropping.

Jaw dropping!

How many times in your life have you honestly encountered something jaw dropping?  Once at the most.

But I can encounter it several times a day online by looking at pictures of what Plain Jane Super brain from Neighbours looks like now.

I say looking because you don't really get to see it, you're lured in.

A bit like the "You'll never guess what happened next" headline with a picture of a shark behind a woman in the sea.  It looks like she's taking a selfie while Jaws tries to dry hump her and probably eat her. Chief Brody would be fuming.

There's a whole raft of them, pardon the pun, but we don't get to see what happens next, unfortunately.

But the one that takes the biscuit surely has to be the one that tells us, "Susan Boyle looks like a model now".

Susan Boyle?  A model.

Now, don't get me wrong, some people have makeovers and they look nice.  But Susan Boyle?


It doesn't matter if she's lost weight or had a haircut, there's no way she's ever looking like a model.

You've more chance of seeing Maddie McCann riding Shergar.

Nobody would click that link, right?


So anyway, first picture wasn't Susan Boyle - I can't remember who it was, but the clickbait page was trying to tell me about celebs whose image or looks have changed, for better or worse.

Click along, no Susan Boyle.

Third picture, oh it's her from that show in the 80's.  Still would.

And do you know what, after THIRTY fucking attempts, still no picture of Susan Boyle looking like a model or anything else for that matter.

And why is that?  Because she doesn't look like a model, she looks like Miriam Margolyes with Downs Syndrome.

Thirty bastard pages, after all those clicks it would pay for Su-Bo to have all the treatment under the sun.

I've been gypped.

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