Sexual harassment has gone too far

The news recently has been full of claims of sexual harassment, starting with Harvey Weinstein and moving on to Tory MP's.

Tim Fallon resigned the other day because he put his hand on the knee of Julia Hartley-Brewer back in 2002.  An incident she found "mildy amusing" and was not "remotely upset or distressed".

Is that resign worthy?

Shouldn't be.  But when questioned by Theresa Mayhem he suggested there could be more similar incidents, so naturally had to "Fallon his sword".

There's more to come, I'm sure.  Now, don't get me wrong, if there are MP's or anyone for that matter who has sexually assaulted or harassed someone then they clearly should be reported and dealt with accordingly.

However, what's a little concerning is that there are people making suggestions about really innocuous "incidents" that happened a long time ago where they weren't bothered about it at the time but now all this is coming out they're jumping on the bandwagon.

I don't know if you've seen the list of Tory MP's on the "spreadsheet of sleaze", it's been put out there in an unredacted state.  The problem with this list is we don't actually know who put it together so it could for all intents and purposes be absolute bullshit.

Coupled with the fact that a couple of the MP's supposed misdemeanor is to be having an affair with someone, well, I don't see that as a crime to be honest!  Having an affair is one thing, but is it really a sleazy crime?  I don't think it is.  Save it for the proper bad 'uns.

What's more concerning about this whole affair (pardon the pun) is that 2017 seems to be the year of the Snowball (Snowflakes gather and escalate, everything snowballs) and with that comes a situation where everything is blown out of all proportion.  Coupled with all the other shit that's going on at the moment and you have yourself a whole new way of life:

Before you approach a woman in a pub or nightclub you must first obtain an "Approach Number" via your special app which links directly to your solicitor.  When you have your "Approach Number" you may then safely approach said dame and show her your phone, so she sees your "Approach Number" and knows you're a genuine bona-fide dude and definitely not a rapist.

Said lady then accepts or rejects your approach by entering your "Approach Number" into her app and selecting a status.

Good news bro, she's accepted!

You may now talk to the lady.  Only talk mind, let's not get carried away.

So you go somewhere to talk about stuff.

You fancies you too actually, turns out she'd like to take you home.

So she takes out her phone and updates the app, she's leaving "Brazzers" with you.  Sweet, dude!

You have to update your app too, of course, with an "Accompany Number" just to make sure it's all above board.

You get a taxi together, both updating your apps with the vehicle registration and the taxi drivers name and number (plus his mothers maiden name).

You're looking forward to getting home, you fancy the pants off this lass and she's hot to trot an' all.

You both arrive at hers (your place is a shit tip), you get out and update the apps to say where you are.  The app makes you take a picture of the door to prove where you are.

You manage to take a decent picture eventually.  Well, it is night time and you've had a few scoops.

You get in, head for the bedroom.

You're hard as rock, she's dripping like a fucked fridge.

OH WAIT!  You need to both exchange an IAN first (Intercourse Approval Number), hmm that's weird.  Her wifi is a bit shit.

Bit slow this.

Fuck it!  Turn off wifi and go 4G bro!  

Oh, the app isn't working now.

Neither of you can get an IAN.

You pop yer pants on and head home.  Maybe next week dude!


This is where we are heading!  It's like a scene from Demolition Man for gods sake.

Other things that could be concerning though is that we seem to love a bit of "Life archaeology" at the moment.

You know, digging shit up from the past.

Tony Robinson must be rubbing his fucking hands together, the wily shit.

Remember that lass who said you had a nice bum 20 years ago?  The pissed up on with the big tits, aye her.

You never got to sleep with her in the end did you?  Shame.  Maybe you could sue her.

Girls, that fella who said you looked nice?  The other one who said your tits were magnificent? (Bit rude him)

That other one who really, really liked you but lives too far out for town?

Yeah!  Sue them fuckers!

Oh!  Remember your ex husband?  He had sex with you loads of times, groped you, felt you all over!  The filthy sod!  Who does he think he is eh?

Sue the cunt!  You're not with him any more.

Is this the future?  It could well be.  Anyone who has had any previous relationships or one night stands MUST make a complaint about the other person.

It doesn't matter that you consented at the time, you were an item.  Not anymore though.

It won't be long before the "Have I got PPI?" adverts are replaced with "Have I seen your Pee Pee's Eye?", claim companies going after everyone who had any form of sexual activity with anyone they are not currently a partner of.




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