Scruffy Ginger Get, Ed Sheeran has settled out of court in a $20m case brought against him by washed up singer Matt Cardle over similarities in their songs.

The case claims that Sheeran's 2014 song "Photograph" sounds just like Matt Cardle's (I don't even know who the fuck he is) 2012 song "Amazing".

Now, I've listened to both of these and after having what can only be described as a "douche for the ears" can firmly agree that the songs DO sound the same in that:

  • They both contain acoustic guitars
  • They are both sung my men
  • Both songs are utter fucking wibble
  • Both men are talentless fuckwitt shitballs.

I hope that clears it up.

However, after further reading it appears the guy who brought the case has a habit of this.

Richard Busch won a similar case previously against Robin "A bit rapey" Thicke.

So it got me thinking, is this going to be the new PPI?


We're going to get loads of these now!  This guy must listen to songs all day long and think "Wait a second, this sounds a little like X  by Y, there's money to be made here"

"I wrote a song that had a drum in it, your song has a drum in it.  Pay me £1m please!"

Can't wait.

Prince and the Revolution

This year has seen a large number of well known celebrities shuffle off the mortal coil, and while it’s generally a sad affair the level of hysteria is at twatish levels now.

The latest is the passing of Prince, largely unexpected although given he’d been hospitalised a few days before his death meant it was not a complete surprise.

I quite liked some his music, his 80’s stuff mainly and he can certainly be put in the superstar bracket, friends tell me his live shows were something else.

But Friday morning’s correspondence with radio shows was a further indication that people love to be grief junkies, going further than anyone else to show how upset they are, even if they’re not.

I’m sat here in my car crying”, texted one.  Really?  Was he a family member?  No.  Did you know him personally?  No.

As if you’re sat there bawling your eyes out at a singer who hasn’t done anything of note for a good 20 years, how will their loss affect your life?  You’re not and it won’t, at all.

End of an era, no more music” said another one I heard read out.

End of an era, possibly, although as stated above he hasn’t done anything anyone other than absolute hard core fans would appreciate for a long time.  His last few albums have been very religious, your average fan would probably not be overly impressed with this.

Also, you do know that when a musician dies you can still listen to their music don’t you?  I checked this morning and my Prince MP3’s haven’t auto-deleted themselves from my hard drive, and my Batman CD hasn’t melted itself.

Given that we have heard lots of Prince on the radio since Friday morning backs up this crazy theory.

And then there’s the celebs who claim he was their idol, their hero, their best mate.

Prince is probably the biggest recluse in music since Anetha Faltskog (and maybe MJ at one point), he was hardly socialising with all the latest wannabe acts.  Give over.

Oh we jammed together last year”, “I played on his tracks” – do yourself a favour.  The only time you’ve jammed with him was on Guitar Hero 3, you lying fucktard.

Why is it people go way over the top when someone famous dies?  It comes to us all, and the recent spate of them isn’t down to some crazy conspiracy, it’s because these are people who we have grown up with and have known about all our lives, more or less.

Music wise there aren’t that many global superstars left – Madonna, Tina Turner, Limahl.

Maybe not Limahl.

The point is, they have been around for a long time, forever household names and they’re getting older.  It is inevitable they’re going to die at some point.

When you’re 60 and someone cries “Oh no, Olly Murs is dead!”, you’ll ask, “Who the chuff is Olly Murs?

As I’ve alluded to in previous music posts, musical careers are shorter these days than they used to be because there’s always a TV show or 2 pushing the “next big thing”.

So whilst it’s sad that some well known celebs are dying off in this year, 2016, just celebrate their lives instead of acting like they were your best mates and came round for tea every night.

You're the voice, try and understand it.

Following my X-Factor rant in the last update, I had a conversation with someone in which a TV show called "The Voice" came up.

The Voice is a similar show to X-Factor in that it's essentially a singing contest, but the difference is the contestants are initially judged on their voice alone and not looks.

The contestant comes on and sings to a panel of judges whose chairs are turned away from them, if a judge likes what they hear they press a button and their chair spins around so they face the contestant.

I'm not so naive to think that the judges haven't already seen the contestants milling around the studio but if there is a genuine privacy and they haven't then good on them.

I guess the point of the show is not to judge a book by its cover, it's what's coming out of the mouth that's important.

TV influences the music industry so much more than it ever has; for an artist to be truly successful they have to be good looking or fit in with current trends, regardless of whether they really can sing, dance, act etc.

It's no wonder society is in such a state and that kids can't understand how the world really works when they're being lied to via mediums they're supposed to trust.

Occasionally the general public will allow a "non-beautiful" through, more from pity than anything else and totally against the wishes of the moronic judges.

In the case of X-Factor (or Pop Idol or Sing-Sing-Monkey-Boy) there was the car crash that was Rik Waller.

Rik made into the last 10 contestants of Pop idol before pulling out due to illness and signed a recording contract which released 2 songs. Rik then disappeared into the ether, and is now an exam invigilator.

And let's not forget Riks also fat, also "non beautiful" foil Michelle McManus. Michelle won Pop Idol 2003, had a number one hit followed by a top 16 chart, followed by obscurity.

Sometimes talent shines through the looks, after all, does it really matter what someone looks like if they're singing? In hindsight with both of the above, I never rated them but Michelle having had a smash number one could have gone on to many more hits, if she didn't look like she bled gravy.

Look back to the 60's, 70's and 80's when for the majority of the record companies it was about the music and not the looks. Sure there were manufactured groups back then, The Monkees is a classic example but look at how many people had brilliantly successful careers.

Phil Collins had a fantastic career both with Genesis and as a solo act, would Alison Moyet have been able to break through in the modern world if she wasn't an established artist? Having had a career where she looked like a man in Yazoo to looking like a lesbian during the late 80's she was still a much loved artist. She'd stand no chance of making it from scratch in the current climate.

The same for Boy George and Culture Club, Adam Ant and Simply Red.

Going further back to the 70's, I reckon at least 75% of artists would have absolutely no way of making a career in music these days. There were more wizard-like beards, crooked and bad teeth than you could shake a stick at, and the men were no better either.

Even the 90's where things really started to change and half the chart was manufactured dirge would be laughed off stage these days. How did Scooch have a career?

No really.

I find it sad that people's looks are taken into account before their talent is judged, it shouldn't matter should it? In this day and age where we're encouraged to be politically correct, non-sexist, non-agist and non-racist the TV and music industry is standing hand-in-hand as a pair of devils, here to fuck over the dreams of people with genuine talent in place of some talentless-yet-attractive, vapid clothes horse.

 

I have a problem with swearing. 

  
Not in a Tourettes kind of way, but related to swearing in pop songs. 
  
Why does it exist?  It has to be faded out but it’s cunningly done so that the “cked” sound remains, which means everyone can work it out, even kids. 
  
Now, I’m a big fan of the old school gangsta rap.  I still listen to Ice Cube and Dr Dre, the “music” is littered with swearing, cussin’ and bitchin’.  But that’s part of the music and isn’t intended for the pop charts. 
  
Over the last few years there seems to be more and more songs which contain bad language but not for any particular reason. 
  
Pink seems to be one that does it regular.  She also thinks she’s “still a rock star”.  When has Pink EVER been a rock star?  Never. 
  
Blocking out bad language makes it so obvious that something’s been said or sung that shouldn’t have, so what’s the point of doing it? 
  
Radio edits for example should be the same song but with words changed rather than blocked.  Even Ice Cube did this with “Good day” and the lyrics still make sense. 
  
Ceelo Green (which sounds like a new shade of Dulux) in “Forget you” (which clearly is a nice way of saying Fuck you) masks “Shit” with “Shhh…”
  
Which makes it obvious that he’s not telling someone to button their lip, chu
  
Mumford and Sons’ Little Lion Man “really f..ked it up this time.” 
  
What’s wrong with using “messed?” 
  
Their market is to get in the charts, on the radio etc.  
  
As I alluded to earlier, I am no prude.  You can tell from this site alone!  But shouldn’t music be more controlled? 
  
Little Lion man was a massive hit, it was on the radio all the time.  When words are blocked out kids are going to ask why and what word should be there instead.
  
I just don’t see any need for any mainstream songs to contain any swearing or blocking of such.  
  
Artists like this should have a duty of care to ensure that any tracks they produce that are aimed at the mainstream market do not contain any swearing or blocked swearing. 
  
Keep the “explicit lyrics” for the real underground artists and music rather than the fame hungry whores instead! 
  
While I’m at it, the word “Bitch” is a funny one. 
  
Katie Perry’s “Hot n Cold” has the line “Like a bitch, I would know” except on radio bitch is blocked out. 
  
Yet the same radio stations that do this play Meredith Brook’s “I’m a bitch” all the time. 
  
And it wasn’t until recently (and still not in all cases) that Elvis Costello’s “Olivers Army” line “one less white nigger” started to be blocked. 
  
I’m all for open music and for artists to express themselves but when it comes to pop music which is very much controlled by the likes of Simon Cowell purely to get radio play and make money, then I think music should be clean. 
 
Copyright © 2000-2017 Monkey on Toast. All Rights Reserved.