What does a "Wardrobe malfunction" mean to you?

For me, it's when I bought something from MFI, put the twat together and it fell apart after a few weeks.

But apparently it means things like when blouses or skirts fall down by themselves in "You've been framed" type hilarity.

Or like that time when Justin Timberlake pulled Janet Jackson's top off to expose a nipple during the Superbowl Half Time Show.

The Daily Star have gone one step more desperate though. In a bid to show any pictures at all of Holly Willoughby they claim she suffered a wardrobe malfunction because her top turned "transparent".

I don't mind a bit of Holly, if I'm honest.  She's a good looking woman, so I was keen to see just how transparent her top was.

Could you see everything?  Was I going to be drooling?  Would my eyes be on stalks like a 1960's Disney wolf?

It seems not.

Transparent to the Daily Star has a different definition to me then.

Because, in the Daily Star's desperation to get us to click and look at Holly's boobs which were clearly on show to all and sundry what they actually meant was that we could see the top of her bra though her top.

Oh.

Just look at the below, "Is Holly aware her top is see-through?"

Is it, is it really?  Well, no it's not is it?

ragwatch holly seethrough top

That's no different to any woman I've ever worked with in life.  You wear a white top, your bra is going to be on show.

Is that an issue?  I always though that was part of life. No one actually cares.

These Red Tops really are desperate!

vanessa george

This is classic Red Top territory. Person who commits a crime and goes to prison, serves their time and comes out MUST NEVER EVER SMIRK, SMILE OR LAUGH ever again.

I'm not ignoring the fact this woman is a fucking evil pervert paedo, but this gets in Rag Watch purely because of the headline.

I mean, she's not even smirking there anyway.  Smirking is what teenagers do when you're telling them off, right before you give them a forearm to the face.

She's laughing there.  As Greta would say, "How dare you!"

Whenever someone greets or tells someone who's been in prison before a joke they must respond with, "I'm sorry, I am a criminal and according to the Sun I must not laugh at your joke no matter how funny it is"

It's the law.

This headline appeared on the Mirror website:

And if you think this is some kind of Chris Morris Brass Eye article it REALLY was on the Mirror site!

I don't know whether to laugh or cry at the stupidity of the article or the gullibility of the kids themselves.

"You have a friend request from Chicken Nugget", I'd be wondering why a shitty food item was trying to be friends, wouldn't you?

In fact, are these kids even old enough to be on Social Media?  The article says "Primary school kids", which suggests they are under the age of 14 which they have to be.

The article goes on to state that one secondary school girl had a friend request from a ROAD outside the school itself!

Who on earth would accept a friend request from someone purporting to be a road?! Jesus.

Maybe the new generation just accept friend requests from everyone, and seemingly every thing?  I can't believe the chicken nuggets weren't doing that stupid fish pouty thing though.

The Daily Mail did an article about some knobhead being offended by the use of the word "faggot" in Fairytale of New York, a song that's been around since 1986 if memory serves.

But as the paper tries to educate us all on the lyrics to the song and why Kirsty MacColl calls MacGowan a "cheap, lousy faggot" it's because he says she's an "old slut on drunk".

Old slut on drunk!  It's doesn't even make fucking sense!

Dear Daily Mail, it's "old slut on JUNK", junk being heroin, you bunch of feckless cretins.

 

Awful news rag "The Scum" sorry "Sun" ran this story over the weekend:

Paul Hollywood, he of Great British Bake Off stuns pub drinkers after turning up dressed in full Nazi gear.

OK.

Now, two things immediately stand out for me with this story.  Actually, make that 3:

  1. Just where are these stunned pub drinkers?  There's nobody else in the picture apart from his mate.
     
  2. Paul Hollywood looks a bit older and fatter now, as we all do.
     
  3. This is the killer shot - There's a fucking ash tray avec fags on the pub bar which suggests this picture was taken before July 2007 when the smoking ban was introduced in the UK.

Ah, eagle eyed eh?  Correct, I've got eyes like a shithouse rat, me.

So, going back to point 3 then, let's talk.

It turns out this picture was taken in 2003, at an 'Allo 'Allo themed party.

Hardly the same as making out the baker-boy is a full on Nazi!  And let's delve a bit deeper into this, when was the last time an actual Nazi / Neo-Nazi really went out dressed in 1940's Nazi uniform?  Not that common really is it?  I don't even know where one would even get such a uniform from these days, maybe "Stollen from Ivor"?  :)

I wonder who went dressed as Helga.

Are these rags really so desperate for stories they're willing to go back and search through historical pictures and try to apply a different theme to it?

Absolute dicks, I hope they get a Reich pasting.

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