So, it's election day and all the political experts are out on Facebook telling us who to vote for.

I've been deliberately neutral on here throughout the entire election, the reason?

Well, to be honest it's none of your business what my political leaning is, and frankly as time has gone on I'm not sure where that leaning lies.

I don't support any one particular party.  I might have voted Tory for a number of years, but it doesn't mean I like Chairman May, or Hunt or well, many of them.

I might think Corbyn's the best thing since fried bread, but that won't stop me taking the piss out of Diane Abbott because she's a moron.

None of the parties are without problems and none of them are above criticism.

You're entitled to vote for who you want, that's the point of a democracy.

Social media has a lot to answer for of course.  Facebook and Twitter are full of experts telling us, rather aggressively in some cases, who to vote for, without actually telling us why.

Yes, you sit on your arse all day smoking weed and playing Xbox instead of having a job, I think you'll find I'm not going to take any advice off you.

Unless it's the infinite lives cheat for the latest Halo.

I'll make my own decisions in life, thank you very much.

I've never before known an election be so divisive, oddly it seems to be anyone NOT voting Tory that thinks they're in the right, like this cretin:


I mean, really, what a horrible arsehole this guy is.

Probably not even old enough to vote.  He might not like the Tories but that doesn't mean there are plenty that do and will vote for them.

I've already seen people claiming "If you've voted for X then you're wrong".

How are they wrong?  In an election there is no right or wrong, it's not a quiz.  People vote for who they want, how can there possibly be a wrong?

There's your preferred party and then there's everyone else, it's as simple as that.

 

Rag Watch

There's a small update in Rag Watch

 

And finally...

The security services in this country are failing massively.  Jihadi's are on watch lists, sometimes internationally known but they're slipping through the net far too easily.

When they're coming back the UK from places like Syria why aren't they being stopped then?

A lot has been made of police cuts, something which has happened under Theresa May as both Home Secretary and Prime Minister but the fact is the forces SHOULD be doing better than they are.

A case in point, at the recent League 1 Play Off Final between Bradford City and Milwall, a Bradford fan who had been banned from games decided to attend the game in fancy dress.

He was picked up even before he could get anywhere near Wembley.

So, the police has the resource to monitor football fans, but not dangerous religious fanatics who want to kill us.

More at the weekend, stay tuned!

The lunatics are still out following last weeks terrorist attack in Manchester.

Those claiming it didn't happen are still unable to tell us why that would be, or give us any further details.

They're so clued up and in the know they can't even spell properly.  Yeah, they're in with MI5 et al.  Honest.

Meanwhile, one particular conspiracist reckons that Georgina Callander isn't dead at all and is a "crisis actor".  He claims she's played 3 roles in the event that didn't happen:

 

Here's Georgina on the left, 2 or 3 years ago.  The girl in the middle is a fairly recent picture of her.

The girl on the right was a witness to the Manchester bombing.  Idiot conspiracist claims the girl on the right is the same one as the one in the middle.

Firstly, you can see from pictures 1 and 2 that Georgina's chin is quite pointy, the girl on the right has a cleft chin, the eye brows are different and the girl on the right has a squarer head.

He also claims that the lady claiming to be Georgina's mum at the Manchester vigil was actually Georgina herself!

It's amazing how most of these fuckwitts come from the USA and they know all about how we are "being controlled".

Whilst I love a good conspiracy theory, this is a load of bollocks.  That said, I think there's something we're not being told about the event, such as why it was almost a week after the event when CCTV footage of the bomber appeared, usually footage is shown shortly afterwards and there's a lack of footage from inside the event.  No camera seems to have captured the bomb detonating either.

I'll do a piece on conspiracies another time.

 

Terrorize!

Here's a piece on The War on Terror

 

Unfortunate how these 2 articles appeared side by side on MSN News!

 

And finally...

Theresa May's plan to deal with ISIS.

See you again soon!

We Love Manchester

This week's update was delayed after the terrible incident that occured in Manchester on Monday night.

Yet again terrorists have tried to stop us from living our lives.  Cowards hell bent on stopping young girls having fun at a pop concert because their religion doesn't allow music, or fun.

Something MUST change as we cannot go on like this, the Government telling us to "carry on as normal", that only tells us we must accept and tolerate people attacking us because we are not the same religion as them.  We must make the change now, before it gets too late.

Facebook Fuckwitt Corner features 2 absolute cunt trumpets.

 

Brady is no Moor

So, Moors Murderer Ian Brady left us last week.

Ian Hanson, Chairman of the GMP Federation said, "Ian Brady was a monster and his body should be left out for the bin men", which is all well and good but any fool knows the beggars only come every 2 weeks, which would be a bit whiffy.

Meanwhile, the public have had their say on him taking the resting place of Keith Bennett to his grave, but I'm not so sure he did.

Brady was as mad as a cut snake, his mind been fucked for years.  I honestly do not believe he knew where Keith was buried.

People suggest he deliberately withheld the information as a final piece of power, however I think the only bit of power he really had was NOT to say, "I really don't know where he is".

Brady gained nothing from withholding the information, but I just don't think he had the guts to admit he really had no idea anymore.

Speaking of which...


The Works made a bit of a boo-boo with this sticker.

Not incorrect, though.

Thanks to Gemma for the spot.

 


Theresa May releases a manifesto of her own

Speaking of Manifestos, I've had a look through both the Conservative one and the Labour one, and I must say, Labour's is very grandiose indeed.

The only issue I have is, as I said last time, I just don't think the country can afford it.  Labour claims it's fully costed, but then Diane Abbott is involved which just makes a mockery of it.

For the first time in over 20+ years I really am torn over who to vote for.

Here's a piece on tuition fees.

 

So, Eurovision then.

We did better than most years, but I just don't understand how Portugal won it!  It was a truly awful song.

The win means Portugal will host the event next year.  I won't watch the show but I will check up on it ever half hour.

Might even have some Tapas.

 

Monkey on Toast Merchandise presents...

The new Diane Abbott wristwatch.  It's a doozy.

 

Fuck you, Fat Boy Slim

We've retired the Headline Makers section as it was only used once and rebranded it Rag Watch.

In it, the new section will look at the Rags (Sun, Mirror, Star) and make fun of stupid headlines and non stories.

Our first go is about Fat Boy Slim being an awful rotter.

 

Facebook Fuckwitts

Over in Facebook Fuckwitt Corner we have a new rant about Theresa May wearing shoes

 

And finally...

A new rant about Holiday Insurance

Diane Abbott is a dick

Anti white Labour MP Diane Abbott was in the news this week because of her inability to count, not knowing her own party politics and being an absolute waste of skin.

In an interview Abbott gave with LBC she claimed that 10,000 new police officers would be recruited if Labour wins the forthcoming General Election and when pushed for a price said it would be £80m.

Eighty million pounds divided by 10,000 is 8,000.  

When she was asked if the new police officers would be paid £8,000 a year this is her response:

DA: No, we're talking about a process over 4 years

NF: I don't understand, what is he or she getting?  80 million divided by 10,000 equals 8,000.  What are these police officers being paid?

DA: We will be paying them the average

NF: Has this been thought through?

DA: Of course it's been thought through

NF: Where are the figures?

DA: The figures are that the additional costs in year one when we anticipate recruiting 250,000 policemen will be £64.3 million

NF: 250,000 policemen?

DA: And women

NF: So you're getting more than 10,000?  You're recruiting 250,000?

DA: No, we are recruiting 2,000 and perhaps 250

NF: So where did the 250,000 come from?

DA: I think you said that, not me

Unbelievable!  I've watched and listened to several interviews with Diane Abbott over the last few days and she's floundered her way through every single one, constanly repeating the same words and phrases. In particular, "Specifically allocated" and "Reversing Capital Gains Tax".

When pushed for further details about where Labour will get the money from she insists that reversing CGT will pay for it, although she can provide no figures.  In another interview with the BBC she sat there, having absolutely no idea what was going on.  She's the political equivalent of that fake sign language interpreter at Nelson Mandela's memorial.


If anyone was thinking voting Labour, surely you've got to be toying with yourself?  I know I am.  Do I want a change?  Probably yes.

Do I want this woman anywhere near the Government?

Do I fuck.

Remember that time she was on that gameshow?


A Monkey on Toast Original :)

 

More election stuff

So the manifesto's aren't out yet, so we can't make an informed decision about who to vote for although Labour's draft manifesto was leaked earlier.

In it, it states that they will renationalise the rail network, freeze fares, add free wi-fi and end driver only trains.

It also states that Royal Mail will be renationalised and create at least one publicly owned energy company.

Now, all this sounds absolutely great, but I have to ask, just WHERE does the money come from to pay for it all?

By simply repeating that reversing the CGT over and over again doesn't bring in more money.  Each time the line is said it doesn't double the amount.

Do I think the rail could be renationalised? Not at all, it's too far gone.  I've wrote before about how I think utilities (and I believe rail to be included in this) SHOULD be owned and run by the State, but it would cost an astronomical amount of money to put right.

I hate the "free wi-fi" on trains line, if you're voting for a party based off the fact you'll get free wi-fi on a train  you need to give your head a wobble and grow up.

From what I can see in the manifesto summary, it's all idealist stuff, and if I was gullible I'd take it all in, but I'm not.  It cannot all be delivered, there is just nor the time or money available to do it.

Again, it says Zero Hour Contracts will be banned, I applaud that - I've written about it before too, I despise the very notion of it.  But you get rid of those and you instantly have a spike in unemployment.  Sure, it might even out over time, but it's a huge risk.

Labour are simply promising too much to be credible.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not siding with the Tories here, as I said in my last update, I'm looking from all sides.  I don't particularly like Theresa May and most of her cronies, but if I'm going to vote for her to do one then the opposition needs to be able to deliver and not have people like Diane Abbott around.  Fuck, I'd rather have Kim Jong-Un in Government over her.

Meanwhile, the usual Facebook crowd have been doing their little images:


Clearly put together by someone who wants the Tories out, the Labour side details manifesto points where the Tory side shows what will absolutely definitely happen, as if they are part of the Tory manifesto.

But hang on, that can't be right can it?  Because only the nasty Tories tell lies and promote propaganda don't they?  Jeez.

And you wonder why people are fed up of politics when this kind of shit is wheeled out.  It doesn't provide a fair balance.

What I also find confusing is that if everybody wants the Tories out like they say they do, why were the recent local elections a landslide for the Tories?

 

And finally...

Over in Facebook Fuckwitt Corner we see a list of A list of people who drink too much.

We'll be back over the weekend with more stuff that I don't have time to write right now! :)

Bye for now peeps!

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