Emotional Blackmail

Heard those annoying COVID adverts on the radio?


Satire? No sir. 

I was going to do a satire piece on a teacher not turning up for online lessons due to snow and then I saw this..

school snow day

I mean, we've all experienced school closures (either for ourselves or our kids) due to snow but this takes the piss.  It seems schools close now when there's a flake of snow in the air, which wouldn't have happened in my day.  These days schools probably shut when there's a kid with rampant dandruff, thinking it's snowing.

Snow is not an excuse to stop homeschooling.  By god, our kids are getting a shit enough education online as it is without teachers doing crap like this.

We need the schools opening, and fast.


Maxine oin Vaccines

Maxine is back, this time reviewing the Pfizer vaccine.


GB News

Let's cancel it before it's begun.


(Once again) Queen Latifah is back

They've brought back the classic 80s series The Equalizer.


And finally...

 We haven't had a foray in the World of Woke for a while.

We do now though, He-Man is back!



Welcome back folks!

So this week the EU got even more childish.  First it went from "Hey UK, you have a surplus of the AZ / Oxford vaccine, we DEMAND you send it to us" to "Well, actually, that vaccine doesn't work so we won't give it to anyone.  Nah nah nah nah nahhh"

The EU really love us, honest!  

Anyway, here's live scenes of Astra Zeneca making surplus supplies of the vaccine available to the EU...

Environmental Toxic Waste


I want to live foreverrrrrr

Look at this and tell me what's wrong here:

twitter twins

Apart from the rude word, obviously.  They are 96 years old for fucks sake!

What is wrong with people?  Did she expect to live forever?  Did she expect her sister to only die at the same time as her?

You can blame Boris Johnson for an awful lot but unless he personally gave the sister COVID then it's not his fault is it?

I'd like to know HOW she got it, probably brought in by a family member.  Time to look closer to home there.


John Spiracy

Our Conspiracy nut John Spiracy is back, this time with a view on Snow.


Block 5G

Buy a Faraday cage for your router


Captain Tom

It was sad this week to learn of Captain Sir Tom's death.  But I've been annoyed at the media coverage of it.

You see, Captain Tom had been ill for some time with pneumonia.  Wasn't in the news, nobody was interested in it.

Until he contracted COVID, whilst in hospital.

Then it was all over the news!  Breaking News - Captain Tom in hospital with Coronavirus.

He already was IN hospital.

Let's also not forget the fact that he was ONE HUNDRED YEARS OLD.

It's nuts.  Almost a year on, people are not allowed to die of anything other than COVID.

Let's be clear too, we don't even know if he had ANY symptoms at all.  His own daughter said he wasn't in ICU at any time or on a ventilator.  He might have just tested positive and been asymptomatic.

Which is why the shitty MK Online newspaper had to remove a link to a story which was titled "Captain Sir Tom dies after battle with Coronavirus".

There is no evidence at all to suggest he was battling COVID, he was ill with pneumonia for weeks - also the same reason he didn't have a vaccine, because the drugs are incompatible.

But don't worry because Conspiracy theorists know better!  Look at this shitweasel:

captain tom

Vanessa Gray says she bets Captain Sir Tom has the vaccine, despite HIS OWN DAUGHTER saying he hadn't.  And then, directly underneath says


Yes Vanessa, SIR TOM FUCKING JONES had the vaccine, you utter dick.

Presumably she can only read 3 letter at a time and saw the words SIR TOM, put 2 and 2 together and got Diane Abbott.

Thick bitch.


Speaking of Vaccines

We've another new guest writing for us.  Ladies and Gentlemen (and all the other 57 genders), I am proud to announce we now have Maxine Carr writing for us, she's going to be reviewing the different Vaccines.

In our new feature Maxine on Vaccines, this week she's reviewed the Astra Zeneca / Oxford vax.


And finally...

It was announced recently that Deputy Leader of the Labour Party, Angela Rayner claimed £1600 on 23 first class rail tickets as part of an overall figure costing almost £31k in 2020.

angela rayner expenses 1

angela rayner expenses 2

What's interesting abaout this story is the that none of my staunch Labour supporting Facebook friends who will literally comment on ANY article about ANY Tory had anything to say about it at all.

Had this been a Tory there would have been comments like, "Evil Tories taking again!", "Did they REALLY have to travel First Class?  It's just Elitism", "They could have spent that on a kids school dinner!"... etc

But no, there was not a peep out of any of them.  Weird that.

I mean, I'm not exactly defending the Tories, not am I having a pop at the ginger gob on legs for it, but where is the fallout over it?  

Personally I don't care what they claim as long as they're not taking the piss.  We've all been guilty of adding a few extra miles on to some travel expenses haven't we?  I'm not getting into the forensic accounting of it all.

But if we're going to have a go at one set of MP's for doing something, shouldn't the same apply to the rest?  And vice versa?

Next time the Tories expenses are published I'll point them all to the post about this and ask why they were silent then.  Labour really can do no wrong in some peoples eyes, but there really IS a difference between wanting the Tories out and having a different party in.  Don't be so blinkered.






Back again!  How y'all doing?

The year doesn't seem to be getting any better does it?  Although the roll out of COVID vaccinations looks promising.

I have to say though, the EU has really dropped a bollock and they're starting to show their true colours.

The UK had the foresight to order the 60 million doses of the Astra Zeneca / Oxford vaccine last year.  The EU however delayed signing their order contract for 3 months and now they expect the UK to just hand over any "spare" vaccines.  Spare?  Fuck off.

Now, no matter which way you voted in Brexit and I have been firmly on the fence because I have always seen the benefits of being in AND out, you have to admit the EU has behaved REALLY badly.  Some countries in the EU tried to place their own orders for the AZ vaccine and guess what, Germany told them NO.  The EU (which is now run by Germany) said they would order them...

Germany telling other countries what to do.  Never seen that before.


Home schooling

It's a bit shit isn't it?  Is school in general just fucked?


Big Tech

Big Tech have been bastards recently, with Parler being taken off App Stores and Amazon pulling their AWS storage for the app.

This is a problem for me because it's not for the tech firms to decide who can say what.  It's literally fucking free speech right over.

Now, you might think that Parler being shut down is a good thing, you might think that there's no room in the world for Right Wing shenanigans.  But Parler wasn't all about that, it was supposed to have been a place where people could talk about anything and share opinions, no matter what.  If you've never been on it you can't really comment either to be honest; you have to see it to believe it, non?

Twitter has been shutting people's accounts all over the shop over the last few months.  They're proper shady, deleting people's tweets, putting people on shadow bans etc.

Personally I didn't like to the look and feel of Parler but the point is there has to be places that allow people free speech.  Just because you might like what people are saying doesn't mean they're wrong and you're right.  We cannot lose this very important right.


Speaking of which...


Facebook has deleted the page of Socialist Worker as well as banning the accounts of those who ran it.  These people campaigned for the cancellation and de-platforming of people they deemed "troublesome" such as right wingers.  But now they're feeling the pain of it happening to them, according to the Express, "The group also shared their fury over the ban in a blog post for The Socialist Worker, which was sent to Express.co.uk

They also criticised "social media bosses for not being on our side".

The utter gall of these people.  Cancel everyone and de-platform everyone who they don't like but when it happens to them they blame social media.  They just don't get it do they?!


New writer!

We have a new writer here at Toast Towers (we're socially distanced and the desks are wiped hourly with Dettol so it's all good) - Introducing John Spiracy!

This time John has an article about Big Tech meddling in people's lives.


Facebook Fuckwitts

We've another Fuckwitt in Facebook Fuckwitt Corner.

This time, Mel from Sunderland tells us all about the evils of Formaldehyde.


And finally

Whilst there IS a global pandemic on, the "Save the NHS" narrative has been around for years.  Just look at these headlines from the Grauniad over the last few years.

They're as bad as the Express with their weather, "This year we are literally going back to the Ice Age" then we have the mildest winter on record.

We know things are bad in the NHS, they are EVERY WINTER but exercise some caution and restraint, things are NOT as bad as we're told. Ever.

Grauniad NHS Crisis

Back again soon, have fun!



Where to start, where to fucking start?!

Let's start with the COVID Hoaxers.


Sticking with a COVID theme

Cheshire Police posted this on Facebook recently:

cheshire police lockdown

To which I considered being a bit naughty and suggesting it possibly didn't happen.

When I saw the replies I realised that there was a complete sense of humour bypass and it would be lost on them, so I left it, which is unlike me.

But then it occured to me, in all honesty, it doesn't sound totally plausible does it?

So, as they say, TO THE COMMENTS!

cheshire police lockdown comments1

So, Bernardette is pretty fuming really.  She knows the 2 chaps must have known about a lockdown!  We all know about the lockdown, right?

So to reaffirm it all, she's now asking questions...

Which taxi service allows passengers without masks?  Well, I've seen lots of people getting in taxis without wearing a mask.

Which shop would be open at 3 AM? Yeah you tell me.  And which shops don't allow people in with masks eh?

The thing is... she's not backing herself up here, she's actually doubting the story, just without knowing it.

It made me chuckle, she thinks she's being authoritive but she's actually doubting whether Cheshire Police are actually made the story up.

Let's answer the last 2 questions though.

All night garages are open at 3 AM.  Many of them have all night alcohol licences.  They also let people in without masks.  I should know, I once went in one when I forgot it.


And Deborah comes along too.  She too wants to stamp her authority on this story by having a go at the rotter offenders.  But she's unconciously throwing doubt on the story too.  Yeah, tell Debbie where you can buy beer at 3 AM.  They're definitely breaking rules.  She doesn't say what rrules but if the shop has a 24 hour alcohol licence then it's not that one.



cheshire police lockdown comments2

Ah, Kane.  You've fallen in the trap of thinking you KNOW who the so called offenders are and that YOU know THEY knew.

You don't.. and you don't.

Anyway, this story could have happened.  It doesn't sound too plausible in all honesty, but if it did then they people were dealt with.  That's it.


Facebook Fuckwitt Double Bill

We've a new twat in Facebook Fuckwitt land.

First up, this new twat is a 5G knobhead.

And he's also a COVID denier. (Which isn't a type of tights)


Fat Get Looks Stunning

Look at this nonsense!

amy tapper fat get

Gogglebox star Amy Tapper looks stunning.

I think the've spelled "fat" incorrectly.

It's shocking the way the media has normalised people like this being morbidly obese, it's just not right.

Amy, who has been as big as a house since she debuted on Googlebox aged around 16.  She seemed to get bigger every week, to the point where you couldn't tell which bit was her or the sofa.

I had to do a double take on this, I thought it said it was her "21 stone birthday" which probably is right.  She's the only person whose weight mirrors that of her age.

"What did you get for your birthday Amy?"



And finally...

Have you seen that advert from Ryan Air?  Basically what they're saying is, "There's a vaccination now so get booking your holidays! LOL"

Whilst I understand the travel industry is struggling due to the pandemic, this isn't a good look.

I know they need to keep making money to survive, we can't let the travel industry collapse but it just looks, well, irresponsible.

Maybe they should have waited a bit longer, when more than a 56th of the population has been vaccinated like it appears to be at the moment.

I've noticed a few other travel firms jumping on the same bandwagon but with less gusto and less blatant.


Happy New Year!


Hope you all had as good a Christmas as could have been expected given the circumstances.  Let's hope 2021 is a much better year, although I'm not convinced there will be any normality until at least 2022...


So what's happened in the last few weeks?




Take a knee, boooooo!

Milwall fans booed their players taking the knee and were immediately called racists.  Ah, that classic "go to" insult along with nazi, fascist, bigot etc.

Now, I can fully understand why they booed and I support them in that.  Does that make me racist and bigoted and not want black players to be equal to whitey?

Well, no.  Not quite, you see, taking the knee is political and politics have no place in sport.  Taking the knee and doing "black fist" isn't about solidarity, it's akin to supporting terrorism.

In the wake of it, Milwall said their players would link arms instead to show solidarity and equality - and you know what, Milwall fans were perfectly happy with it.

Haven't we learned enough in the last few months now to know that the whole BLM thing was a farce?  We know they as an organisation want to smash capitalism.  What the fuck's that got to do with black people not getting beaten up by white coppers?  Nothing.

I'm also not fully convinced the solidarity in football is for white and black players to be equal, take a look at the teams in the premier league.  Most teams have a black majority and those players earn more than the white ones.  It's not so straight forward now is it?


Speaking of equality...

 Anne Boleyn was black, dontchaknow.



A new article on Ragwatch about Fred Talbot drinking a pint.


And finally...

Date me or you're a bigot