Well, the General Election didn't really go to plan did it?

Not for Theresa, anyway.

But, as expected, there was an immediate call for re-elections and recounts from the left because they didn't get their own way.

I've said it many times before, and it was apparent immediately after the Brexit referendum 12 months ago that people don't want democracy anymore, they only want their way.

It was good to see more young people voting this time, even if they were possibly misled by some of the promises - but then again, when hasn't a voter been misled?

However, it's clear that the young haven't quite grasped the art of democracy yet, given the amount of bile spouted on social media.  This is the problem with millenials, they are so entitled, having being told all the time from mummy and daddy just how special they are and how they can have anything they want.  No, life doesn't work that way!

Another thing I've said before!  Constantly praising kids, telling them they're always winners does more harm than good.  

So, if you vote in your first election and it doesn't go your way, what do you do?  Have a bit of a moan on social media, and hope the next 5 years aren't as bad as you hoped or throw the toys out the pram, wet your dress and take to the streets?


Majority Proops

The Tories didn't get a majority in the GE so they've cosied up to the DUP, The Department of Unclean Peasants.

The DUP are against gay rights & marriage, abortion and a whole host of other modernities.

It's rumoured that if the coaliation fails, Tezza May will see if ISIS are interested in forming a Government - they're pretty much the same.

Lots of people, quite rightly are against this Coalition of Cock Ends but what they fail to understand is that there's protesting and going all out to cause shit:

No Emily, you can't.  

Sorry Ashton, what you're going to do is sit in your bedroom on your computer acting hard.  I'm not sure you're even old enough to be on Twitter.

Yes, the coalition with the DUP is a bit shit, but the Tories need them for 8 seats.  Do you really think they're going to have much sway in any new bills?  No.

Are they going to repeal any of the rights they stand against?  Of course not.


Reform, reform, reform!

The first in a series of articles on reforming the world.


The Towering Inferno

The Grenfell Tower was awful to watch, seeing those poor people lose their homes and lives in such a way, begs the question why do we still have such huge towers?

This country seems obsessed with appartments though, everywhere you go there are vast numbers of new builds being appartments.  I've lived in one of these new builds, and it was nice but not how I'd want to live really.  We really should look at houses instead of flats.

However, that's beside the point.

The fire is said to have started in one mans flat, from a fridge that supposedly caught fire.

I'm not so sure there wasn't something sinister going on here, there's something that doesn't quite add up.

The man whose flat the fire started in alerted a neighbour that there was a small fire in his flat, but he'd packed his bags and was leaving.  Now, if there was a fire in my house, I wouldn't have time to get my clothes and things together bfore getting out, which makes me suspicious that it wasn't started deliberately.  Add to this, the fact he's now disappeared!

Fridges don't catch fire that often either, unless there's something suspicious in it that shouldn't be there.

And of course, the immediate blame has gone to the Tories, who apparently have "blood on their hands".

Naturally, research has gone into these claims by, oh, nobody.

Granted, Theresa May failed epically to turn up at the disaster, and act with sympathy or empathy.  She's completely failed as a human being.

However, I'm not sure she actually has the ability to behave in such a manner.  I genuinely think she's naturally cold, not deliberately malicious or evil, just lacking the wherewithal to conduct herself in a manner becoming of a Prime Minister.  Saying that, I do not believe she wants the job in the first place.  I said this before the election and wasn't the only one to think that way.

The biased mainstream media are failing to push the facts though, instead they're pandering to groups of potential rioters in case they offend them.  Why should the blame be laid at the door of people who really aren't at fault?

I'm all for laying blame, don't get me wrong, but for gods sake, blame the right people yeah?!


And finally...

A little rant about art lost art of debate.


So, it's election day and all the political experts are out on Facebook telling us who to vote for.

I've been deliberately neutral on here throughout the entire election, the reason?

Well, to be honest it's none of your business what my political leaning is, and frankly as time has gone on I'm not sure where that leaning lies.

I don't support any one particular party.  I might have voted Tory for a number of years, but it doesn't mean I like Chairman May, or Hunt or well, many of them.

I might think Corbyn's the best thing since fried bread, but that won't stop me taking the piss out of Diane Abbott because she's a moron.

None of the parties are without problems and none of them are above criticism.

You're entitled to vote for who you want, that's the point of a democracy.

Social media has a lot to answer for of course.  Facebook and Twitter are full of experts telling us, rather aggressively in some cases, who to vote for, without actually telling us why.

Yes, you sit on your arse all day smoking weed and playing Xbox instead of having a job, I think you'll find I'm not going to take any advice off you.

Unless it's the infinite lives cheat for the latest Halo.

I'll make my own decisions in life, thank you very much.

I've never before known an election be so divisive, oddly it seems to be anyone NOT voting Tory that thinks they're in the right, like this cretin:

I mean, really, what a horrible arsehole this guy is.

Probably not even old enough to vote.  He might not like the Tories but that doesn't mean there are plenty that do and will vote for them.

I've already seen people claiming "If you've voted for X then you're wrong".

How are they wrong?  In an election there is no right or wrong, it's not a quiz.  People vote for who they want, how can there possibly be a wrong?

There's your preferred party and then there's everyone else, it's as simple as that.


Rag Watch

There's a small update in Rag Watch


And finally...

The security services in this country are failing massively.  Jihadi's are on watch lists, sometimes internationally known but they're slipping through the net far too easily.

When they're coming back the UK from places like Syria why aren't they being stopped then?

A lot has been made of police cuts, something which has happened under Theresa May as both Home Secretary and Prime Minister but the fact is the forces SHOULD be doing better than they are.

A case in point, at the recent League 1 Play Off Final between Bradford City and Milwall, a Bradford fan who had been banned from games decided to attend the game in fancy dress.

He was picked up even before he could get anywhere near Wembley.

So, the police has the resource to monitor football fans, but not dangerous religious fanatics who want to kill us.

More at the weekend, stay tuned!

The lunatics are still out following last weeks terrorist attack in Manchester.

Those claiming it didn't happen are still unable to tell us why that would be, or give us any further details.

They're so clued up and in the know they can't even spell properly.  Yeah, they're in with MI5 et al.  Honest.

Meanwhile, one particular conspiracist reckons that Georgina Callander isn't dead at all and is a "crisis actor".  He claims she's played 3 roles in the event that didn't happen:


Here's Georgina on the left, 2 or 3 years ago.  The girl in the middle is a fairly recent picture of her.

The girl on the right was a witness to the Manchester bombing.  Idiot conspiracist claims the girl on the right is the same one as the one in the middle.

Firstly, you can see from pictures 1 and 2 that Georgina's chin is quite pointy, the girl on the right has a cleft chin, the eye brows are different and the girl on the right has a squarer head.

He also claims that the lady claiming to be Georgina's mum at the Manchester vigil was actually Georgina herself!

It's amazing how most of these fuckwitts come from the USA and they know all about how we are "being controlled".

Whilst I love a good conspiracy theory, this is a load of bollocks.  That said, I think there's something we're not being told about the event, such as why it was almost a week after the event when CCTV footage of the bomber appeared, usually footage is shown shortly afterwards and there's a lack of footage from inside the event.  No camera seems to have captured the bomb detonating either.

I'll do a piece on conspiracies another time.



Here's a piece on The War on Terror


Unfortunate how these 2 articles appeared side by side on MSN News!


And finally...

Theresa May's plan to deal with ISIS.

See you again soon!

We Love Manchester

This week's update was delayed after the terrible incident that occured in Manchester on Monday night.

Yet again terrorists have tried to stop us from living our lives.  Cowards hell bent on stopping young girls having fun at a pop concert because their religion doesn't allow music, or fun.

Something MUST change as we cannot go on like this, the Government telling us to "carry on as normal", that only tells us we must accept and tolerate people attacking us because we are not the same religion as them.  We must make the change now, before it gets too late.

Facebook Fuckwitt Corner features 2 absolute cunt trumpets.


Brady is no Moor

So, Moors Murderer Ian Brady left us last week.

Ian Hanson, Chairman of the GMP Federation said, "Ian Brady was a monster and his body should be left out for the bin men", which is all well and good but any fool knows the beggars only come every 2 weeks, which would be a bit whiffy.

Meanwhile, the public have had their say on him taking the resting place of Keith Bennett to his grave, but I'm not so sure he did.

Brady was as mad as a cut snake, his mind been fucked for years.  I honestly do not believe he knew where Keith was buried.

People suggest he deliberately withheld the information as a final piece of power, however I think the only bit of power he really had was NOT to say, "I really don't know where he is".

Brady gained nothing from withholding the information, but I just don't think he had the guts to admit he really had no idea anymore.

Speaking of which...

The Works made a bit of a boo-boo with this sticker.

Not incorrect, though.

Thanks to Gemma for the spot.


Theresa May releases a manifesto of her own

Speaking of Manifestos, I've had a look through both the Conservative one and the Labour one, and I must say, Labour's is very grandiose indeed.

The only issue I have is, as I said last time, I just don't think the country can afford it.  Labour claims it's fully costed, but then Diane Abbott is involved which just makes a mockery of it.

For the first time in over 20+ years I really am torn over who to vote for.

Here's a piece on tuition fees.


So, Eurovision then.

We did better than most years, but I just don't understand how Portugal won it!  It was a truly awful song.

The win means Portugal will host the event next year.  I won't watch the show but I will check up on it ever half hour.

Might even have some Tapas.


Monkey on Toast Merchandise presents...

The new Diane Abbott wristwatch.  It's a doozy.


Fuck you, Fat Boy Slim

We've retired the Headline Makers section as it was only used once and rebranded it Rag Watch.

In it, the new section will look at the Rags (Sun, Mirror, Star) and make fun of stupid headlines and non stories.

Our first go is about Fat Boy Slim being an awful rotter.


Facebook Fuckwitts

Over in Facebook Fuckwitt Corner we have a new rant about Theresa May wearing shoes


And finally...

A new rant about Holiday Insurance

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