Here we are again!  So, what's happened since the last update?

Well, Donald Trump tested positive for Coronavirus and all the Lefty weirdos and Anti-Trumpers said, "He doesn't have COVID, it's all made up, he's just trying to delay the election".

And then just over a week later he went out in a car and all the Lefty weirdos and Anti-Trumpers said, "This is disgusting! He's out there spreading COVID about!"

Which is a bit weird because a) He was IN A CAR, b) masked and most importantly c) YOU SAID HE DIDN'T HAVE COVID.

I guess when you don't like someone you just have to be contrary about eveything they say or do.

Things that are racist #572

The countryside.

Piss off Rishi

Chancellor and out of touch tosspot Rishi Sunak upset people recently when he suggested that artists and singers should retrain to other jobs.  Well that's all well and good isn't it?

Yes, let's see Katie Price retrain as a care assistant so she can get a new show on TV "Katie Cares".

Or let's see Pauline Quirke delivering for Tesco.

Instead of making stupid remarks like that why not work on getting the country back to normal?  And what jobs are all these comedians, singers et al supposed to do in all honesty?  Maybe they could retrain as assassins and take out the Government?

What about the second wave?

There is no second wave.

And finally...

Let's start celebrating Halloween in July. 

Until next time, toodles.

Back again after a short break!

So, what's been going on of late?  Well, the Government introduce the "Rule of 6" which means that groups of people who don't live together cannot be greater than 6.

Secretary of State for Health Matt Handjob said that people should snitch on their neighbours if they break the rule.  This is very alarming.

You know who else used to encourage people to spy on and report their neighbours?  Adolf Hitler, and more recently Saddam Hussein.

Just what on earth is happening in this country?

Only a few short months ago we were encouraged to clap like baboons on a Thursday evening with our neighbours, we were told to come together as never before to defeat this virus.

We were told that these unprecedented times meant we could reset society so we'd be more loving to each other.

But now you want us to be a bunch of curtain twitching grasses.

Fuck you Matt Handcock, fuck you.

Twat

Wear a mask

Have we gone mask mad?

More Matt Mandjob

Watch this video and tell me he's not an idiot.

When it was put to him that 30% of the COVID tests could be FALSE POSITIVES he just keeps repeating that people are only told to isolate if they've been in contact with someone who has tested positive.

He never answers the question, he's actually retarded.  Imagine being told you need to isolate for 14 days because you've come into contact with someone who has tested positive with a defective test!

It's a complete joke and sums this Government up completely, totally inept, clueless arseholes.

Spitting Image

Last time I did a rant about Spitting Image coming back. 

I was concerned it wouldn't be very good because satire in the UK is dead.  I feared it would be all about Trump and Brexit and the jokes would be the same ones I've seen on Facebook thousands of times over the last 4 years.  Well, I've just seen the first episode today.

Verdict?

It's hard to say from the first episode of course, but I will go back for more next week.  It was better than I expected.  No doubt someone will call racism because it's got Meghan Markle and Lewis Hamilton in it, because people are always arseholes like that.  So far though, so good.  Seeing Priti Patel as a dominatrix and later as a vampire was a good touch.

It remains to be seen if it will be a world beater, but it's started off on the right track.

And finally...

Some people complained at Des.

I saw this during a recent "protest":

Now, let's discuss.

Apparently WE are lucky that THEY only want reparations, not revenge.

Sorry, you want reparations for what?  There isn't a single living person today who WAS a slave, nor is there a single living person who OWNED a slave.  

It's purely just about the money and it couldn't be more scouse if it tried.

You want to talk about slaves?  Let's look at the modern equivalent.  Young girls and women, transported across the world to become sex workers.  They're the slaves.

What about the opredominantly Black slaves that are kept by Arabs?  Nobody is talking about that.

What about the slaves in AFRICAN countries?  People being kept as slaves in their own country by their fellow man.  Nobody is talking about that.

Why is nobody talking about the Uyghurs, a Muslim population of China who are taken by train and hidden away in camps to be "re-educated". Hmm, that's strange, haven't we seen the mass kidnap and murder of a race of people before?  It's almost like that never happened.

But it's China, right?  I mean, nobody will stand up to China because they send us cheap clothes, computers, phones, TVs and viruses.

Ragwatch

Over in Ragwatch, Richard Hammond is struggling to get insurance despite being dead.

Remember Michael Carroll?

Well, he's rich again, thanks to Bitcoin!

And finally...

Spitting Image is coming back, here's why it's likely to be shit.

Don't forget to get on our mailing list, so you'll be the first to know when there's an update!

We start this time with a look at Facebook, because last week lots of people were pretty miffed at people who got pay rises.

"Thanks Boris", wrote one, we'll call her Melanie because, well, that's her name, "I'm pleased for those who got a pay rise but thanks alot Boris, you forgot about carers again!"

Now, let's get this right, when Melanie talks about carers she doesn't mean nurses and other hospital folk, she means carers - those who work in care homes or go to peoples houses.

She was fuming that she didn't get a pay rise off the Government when she actually works for a PRIVATE care home.  There are no such things as state run care homes, they're all private.

Why on earth would a pay rise for her come out the public coffers?

She's not the only one of course, there were others claiming to be key workers during the pandemic, all seemingly mad they didn't get a pay rise from a private company from the state.

Mad.

More appalling adverts

The Wifi Blast, it's a truly terrible advert full of lies.

Facebook Fuckwitts

We are back with another Facebook Fuckwitt.

This time it's a Banking Scam.

Fake Adverts

Let's delve into another Fake Advert!

And finally...

The best, latest Conspiracy Theory.

Back again, hopefully heading back to the usual moany and entertaining rants rather than shit about BLM and other terrorist organisations.

World of Woke

We start this time with a new couple of episodes of World of Woke.

This time:

• Camberwick Green Episode 3
• Chigley Episode 1

Ladies and gentlemen, we got him!

West Midlands Police were jubilant as fuck this week when they arrested a 12 year old boy.

His crime?  Rape?  Murder?  Touching up an alpaca?

Nope, sending nasty tweets to grown men.

For those who don't know. the boy sent racist tweets to Crystal Palace footballer Wilfred Zaha.

Now, don't get me wrong, sending racist tweets to a black man is bang out of order but is it really an arrestable offence?

People shouldn't be arrested for things they say, that's not free speech.  It might not be nice, I've seen the tweet, it's not nice at all but it shouldn't be something you're arrested for.

Naturally, all the kinder gentler Lefties suggested the kid goes to prison, along with his parents because you know, they taught him to be racist.

Now, nobody is born racist.  It has to be learned or picked up from somewhere but can you really blame the parents if you don't know them?

Of course you can't.

He might have the most well rounded parents there are, but you see, most kids have these things called "Friends".

And these "friends" often do and say things they wouldn't normally do or say when they're away from their parents. 

Kids also have these things called "phones" and "tablets".  You might have heard of them.  Hell, you might even be rerading this on one.  People behave differently behind a screen than they do in real life.

Now, let's get back to castigating the parents, shall we?

Do you have kids?  Do you know where they are right now?

Oh yes, little Liam is probably messing about on his phone, he's not doing anything nasty.  Oh no, not our Liam.  Brought up ever so good he was.

Check his phone, go on.  I dare you.

Ahhhhh. He's called one of his mates a "cunt", where did he learn that from eh?  YOU ARE SUCH A BAD PARENT.  INTO THE OVEN FOR YOU.

See, easy eh?

Now, think back.  You were 12 once.  You might have had great parents who taught you right from wrong.

You knew not to be racist, you knew not to swear, you knew not to steal.

But when you were with your mates or away from parents you did things you shouldn't.  Whose fault is that then?  Yours or your parents?

I'm not saying there aren't bad parents out there, there's fucking loads, but at the same time there's thousands of great parents who have brought their kids up to the best of their ability - don't go blaming them for every little shitty thing the kid does.

Facebook Fuckwitts

It's been a while since we laughed at some Facebook Fuckwitts.  Laugh away, my good man.

And finally...

We investigate another fake advert!

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