We start this update with rather sombre news.  Those original Toasters and Forum members might remember a user called Miss Scarlett.

It is with sadness I have to report she was tragically killed last Sunday.

I met her in person several times and although it's been almost 10 years since we last met we kept in touch on Facebook, it was only last week we were talking about the return of this site.

RIP Guida, you'll be sadly missed.

It's a tad windy

It seems Adele has been having a spot of bother with gas.

Join with us

I mentioned the forum earlier, we're really trying to get it going and create a community of comedy, fun and gossip.  Come along, sign up and get some hot topics going!

And finally

There's a new Soapboax rant about parents not getting dressed for school.

Bye for now!

Two updates in a week, you are lucky people!  Next week I'll have Ferrero Rocher.

Top 10 Terrorist Tribute Acts

  1. Jihadi Wadi
  2. Sunni and Shia
  3. Puff Jihadi
  4. ISISister Sledge
  5. Sharia Twain
  6. Saddam and the Ants
  7. Radiobehead
  8. Jilted Jihadi John
  9. Duran Iran
  10. Bomb the Place 

Get in touch!

So, we have a few ways of getting in touch to send in material, suggest ideas for rants etc or just to chat!

Forum - Come and join the Forum, it's still in its infancy like the site but with your help we can make it a great community!

You can e-mail, see the About page for the address and finally follow us on Twitter at: @monkeyontoast

I don't have the energy

And finally, a new rant on energy drinks is available in Soapbox.

Until next time!

Hallo everybody!

Back again with another little update!

SpecSavers Advert

As I was browsing the Specsavers site earlier I came across this!  I genuinely expected to scroll down to see Specsavers CLARKSON and Specsavers HAMMOND!

Bit disappointed, if I'm honest!

New Rant!

Used EBay much over the years?  Sold to some right old ringpieces?  Then have a gander at this!

So we're back with a new update!

I see the Government are actively discussing whether or not Donald Trump should be banned from entering England because he made a stupid remark about banning Muslims from entering America until they could "figure out just what the hell is going on."

Fair enough, that's obviously a pretty silly thing to say in public but really, you think he should be banned from entering the UK because of a stupid comment?

Yes, he's a bit of a dick and probably a social hand grenade but in truth the old fella is harmless.  What's really funny about this whole situation is that people want him banned from entering the country because of something he said yet there is nothing being done about the radical Muslims who are stirring up trouble at Mosques in this very same country.

So it seems it's broadly OK to call for the country to be destroyed from within by radicals who were not born in England yet you want to ban someone who wants his country to be protected from the same kind of people we're not willing to kick out.

Well done!  It really is a typical British trait of late to be offended on someone elses behalf.  Give over, you're a dick.


Another week, another celebrity or well known death.

Today it was announced that lead singer of The Eagles, Glenn Frey had died.

They really are coming thick and fast this year.

glenn frey funeral cremation

Site Forum

I've added a forum here at The Toast!  Join up and chat with us.

And finally...

I wrote something about the latest craze of watching and reactions!

Amusing things written in dirt #12

Those of you who followed the old site may remember I used to publish amusing things written in muck on the back of cars, vans etc.

This time, on the back of a van, "Clives Vag Wagon".

You dope!

So there are some suggestions to reset World Records for some athletics events!  I had this to say about it.

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