Amusing things written in dirt #12

Those of you who followed the old site may remember I used to publish amusing things written in muck on the back of cars, vans etc.

This time, on the back of a van, "Clives Vag Wagon".

You dope!

So there are some suggestions to reset World Records for some athletics events!  I had this to say about it.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year everyone, back to the grindstone now for 2016 - Hope you all have a good one!

Lip Sync Battle

So there's a new TV show starting where the premise is for celebrities to pretend they're singing along to another persons song.

What the actual fuck is that about?  In fact, there used to be a show that ran from 1964 to 2006 where singers used to mime along to their own songs, it was called Top of the Pops!

You'd be surprised if I told you it's on Channel 5, right?

Thought not.

Coming soon!  Celebrity Air Guitar!

Young Jihadis

It's scary times with all the bad things going on in the world, and it's going to get worse.

There are more and more Brits going to Syria and Iraq to fight among their so-called brothers, to fight the Jihad.

What's even worse are those who are radicalising the youngsters, so they'll only ever to grow up to hate those "infidels" who aren't Muslims.

Especially this guy, Jihadi Bob, what a twat.

Christmas Update

Howdy folks, hope you had a good Christmas and are all set for a good New Years Eve?

No wild partying for me this year, those days are long gone and I'm quite pleased to be honest - there's something not quite right about queuing to get in pubs
you wouldn't have to queue to get in any other night, likewise paying to get into them when it's free every other night of the year.

Not to mention the number of jeb ends you have to put up with all night long.

However, going back to Christmas, I've written in the past about the spirit of Christmas not being what it used to be, although I think there's been a bit of a resurgence
in the last few years.  This year though, I was very surprised!

I had to go out on Christmas Day, late afternoon, let's call it "tea time".

As I was driving I was quite surprised to see a couple of Indian restaurants open, I imagine that people would have booked to eat there I figured they were
no different to the pubs that sometimes open on Christmas Day for Christmas dinners.

Then I saw 2 Indian takeaways open.  Rather odd, thought I, I have never seen that before!

However on my way back about 30 minutes later I actually saw 2 Pizza takeaways open.... On Christmas fucking Day!  What the actual fuck is that about?

What kind of cock womble foregoes Christmas Dinner, quite possibly the finest meal available to mankind only behind Yorkshire Fish and Chips to have a pizza/kebab/burger?

An absolute cock womble, is the correct answer.

I understand there are people on their own on Christmas Day, there always has been, and I don't really think these places opening are catering for the Billy No Mates
(or those who choose to spend the day on their own instead of being surrounded by a load of whoppers they call "Family".)

Christmas is well and truly broken!

Christmas #1

I was pleased to see a novelty Christmas Number 1 in the Chart (as opposed to Mr Hankey who was of course, a Christmas Number 2) this year, rather than Justin Bieber it was the NHS Choir that claimed the top spot.

Only problem I have with it is that when I tried to download it I was put on a waiting list...... 



And here we are again, with a new Monkey on Toast update!

United we stand

Manchester United have agreed plans to build a "Mini Old Trafford" next to the current ground to be used by the Under 21's and Academy.

The ground is expected to hold between 5,000 and 10,000 fans.

Rumours of Manchester City enquiring about using it as their home ground have yet to be confirmed.

Come Baby Come

A baby was born on the M1 as the parents were on their way to Watford General Hospital.

Born on a road?  The parents must be "rue"-ing the day and feeling quite "strass"-ed... ho ho!

Hope the kid is named Freeway, like the dog on Hart to Hart.

More rants

There's 2 new Soapbox rants available, one is about the TV show Doctor in the House and the other about Music and Image.



arsehole, thank God it's our last! FIRST!

Yes, we're back! 12 years to the day of MoT shutting its doors we're back!

For those who can't remember, that was the title of the last Update when we closed in 2003 due to me having no free time to update the site.

I've been toying with this idea for some time and finally got round to it!

Let's hope we can pick up where we left off all those years ago, and hopefully we'll get some of the old followers back in the fold too!

As a first update, there's an article on Manchester United manager Louis Van Gaal leaving for a more interesting post and a Soapbox rant about X-Factor.


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