19th October 2016

Wow, I've been busier than a Russian hacker and the World Anti-Doping Agency recently, let's hope we're going to be back to weekly updates soon :)

Stop Clowning Around

The craze of the killer clowns.  Oooh, scary.

Grown adults wandering round with knives and baseball bats scaring kids.

Except this "craze" almost certainly didn't happen.

A school in Morecambe sent a text message to parents after ONE child claimed he was chased down the street by a clown around 4PM.

Right, let's get this straight, absolutely no-one else saw this happen?  No witnesses to a child being pursued down the street at a time when everyone's on their way home?

Didn't happen.

Childline claims there were 120 calls in a week from children who claim to have been scared by clowns.

120 kids, in separate incidents or a mass "Clown Off"?

I call bullshit.

The only people who are claiming to see these clowns en-masse are children.  And we all know that children don't talk out their arses 99% of the time, no?

That's not to say there hasn't been any incidents, because there has.  One guy was confronted by a clown and chased him off.

But what about the people who were driving down the street and spotted a clown who "attacked" their car?  Yeah, of course.  You just so happened to be recording yourself driving down the road at night when this happened.  Sounds legit.

What a load of old balls.

Some clowns terrorizing the neighbourhood

Ain't nothing goin' on but the line rental

BT reacts to Vodafone's dropping of line rental

Daily Fail

Should turn this into a feature really, there's that much material.

So, according to the Daily Mail these ladies are, from Left to Right:

Jane Seymour, Jane Fonda, Raquel Welch, Jane Fonda and Bo Derek.

They're at the same Ball so not only has Jane Fonda managed to change dresses she's also got 2 years younger.

Great work there, Daily Fail!

For those who can't work it out, number 4 is Bo Derek and number 5 is Melanie Griffiths.


Radio Ads

Getting more pissed off with radio adverts than TV ones these days.  The latest is that fucing awful Vauxhall advert that goes:

Woman 1: Jump in, Lou!
Woman 2: Nice ride Becky!  Loving the new Vauxhall.  Good price?
Becky: It was actually Lou, I got £500 off just for test driving it.
Lou: That explains the tiarra!
Becky: Bit of bling! I just jumped in and got more
Lou: I can see that Becks, I can see that!

Grrr!  I hate it.  It couldn't sound more like an advert if it tried.  

Nobody uses each others names in a conversation like that either.  The first exchange maybe, but not after that, it just doesn't happen.

I've heard it that many times I'm actually convinced now that Vauxhall are that stingy that they've only employed the one voice over artist and she's playing the parts of Becky and Lou (who can both fuck right off) and therefore has to use names so we don't think she's a fucking schizo.

Fucking fuck off with this advert, you hoofwanking jizzsocks.

And finally...

There's a new rant about charity dumbing down.