29th October 2016

I wrote this last week which contains some Halloween shit.  Read it.

Happy happy Halloween, Silver Shamrock!

It's that time of year again when kids dress up in costumes, go to people's houses, expecting sweets and getting something else.

No, it's not National Paedophile Day, it's Halloween.

The time of year when kids dress up in scary outfits such as Dracula, Mummies and the scariest of all, the Pirate.

Yes, that's right!  Because Pirates are always associated with horror and the occult aren't they?

And then there's the kids dressed as Spiderman, Superman and "Elsa From Fucking Frozen".

If you're going to dress up at least do it fucking properly.  And this, I think, is the reason I absolutely detest Halloween.

I've never liked it, even as a kid I thought it was pretty pointless.  But if you're going to get involved you should do it right.

If your kid tells you they want to go to a "scary" event dressed as anything that isn't scary then you might as well tell them it's not for them.

"What do you want to go to Jayden's dressed as this year, Spartacus?"

"Well, I rather fancy going as C3PO actually, Dad"

"Just fuck off.  You're not my child"

And then there's the "Trick or Treating", which is a load of bollocks.

It's also an American thing, that like America, can also fuck off.

Going round to people's houses basically saying "If you don't give me some sweets I'm going to vandalise your property" has always been known as "Blackmail" or "Threatening Behaviour".

Fortunately the last couple of years the weather's been shit on Halloween so not many kids have gone out, but this year with it falling on a Monday we've got the joy of not answering the door to some badly dressed wankpuffin tonight, tomorrow and ACTUAL FUCKING HALLOWEEN ITSELF.

Deep fucking joy.

This should deter a few kids coming round this weekend

Over on Facebook

I saw this posted:

At first I thought, "Oh, that's nice.  Some kid got a certificate for 100% attendance at school"

And then I did a double take.

Some kid got a certificate for 100% attendance at school, for 1 fucking month!

Shit the bastard bed!  Is this the level we're coming to now where we have to praise kids for turning up at school for a month?

It's not like the kid has gone all year (technically he has so far, but fuck off, whose side are you on?!) without a day off sick or feigning illness because he wants to stay at home to watch "Cash in the Attic" or he doesn't want to go to school because "Mr Drummond keeps bumming me".  No, this kid has had a month at school and now has a certificate to prove it.

Are kids really this needy these days?

Or is the school just one of those "Oh, everyone is a winner, even though you came last out of 100 people" schools?  There's building confidence and then there's just telling every kid how amazing they are even though most of them are dipshits.  This is how we've ended up with a generation of cunts called "Entitled Millennials" who think they're entitled to everything, are scared of hard work and are truly thicker than mince.

What 80's band Dollar look like now is jaw dropping