6th January 2019

Happy New Year everyone, hope you had a nice Christmas and 2019 brings you everything you want & need.

Christmas being the capitalist time of the year though did annoy me somewhat, imagine companies sending out e-mails on Christmas fucking Day with such delights as:

"Not get what you wanted this year? Try our Boxing Day sale now!"

Have a day off, for fucks sake.

And then we have those offended by the Queen's Speech.  Did I watch it?  No, I was too busy, I'm not interested anyway but minutes after it had finished people couldn't wait to get on social media (when they should be eating Christmas dinner or spending time with their families) to post such drivel as this:

queen gold piano

Where to start?  Again, have a day off from being offended eh?

But let's start....

Billionaire?  The Queen is a billionaire?  Is she fuck!  She's worth just over a quarter of that, which is still an awful lot of selfies (see what I did there?) but let's not let actual facts and figures get in the way of stoking up resentment eh?

Another Twitter mong started banging on about the solid gold piano behind her.

Yeah, it's solid fucking gold, you absolute weapon.  It's wooden like every other piano, with some gold paint on!  What the fuck are you talking about?

And naturally, everyone's banging on about the content of her speech, where she tries to unite Britain and saying we are all in this together. I believe this Brexit related.

But honestly, what is she supposed to say?  I'm no Royalist, far from it, but what the fuck are you talking about people? She's got to be diplomatic, like a politician and say the nice things even if she doesn't mean it.  

And to target her for her wealth, it's a tad unfair no?  I mean, she didn't ask to be born into royalty, she's dedicated her whole life to a job she might hate and not wanted to do.  Like I say, I'm no Royalist and I genuinely think there should be a cull in the number of Royals (I don't mean in a Purge kind of a way, just make it Queen/King and kids) to get rid of the hangers on but to blame the Queen for having money which will have been passed down from generations is a bit much.  It's Christmas, have a break.

New Year, New Rant

Diversity on TV


More shit TV to come?

Whilst watching some US TV channel the other day I saw an advert for a new show called "The Masked Singer".

"What the fuck is this?", I asked myself, in utter disbelief.

The premise of the show?  For a panel of arseholes to try and guess the "celebrity" singer who is dressed in a costume that conceals their identity.


It surely won't be long before it's on TV here.  

Be ready for a panel of tossers like that wet one off a dancing show, that wet one off X-Factor and some trans (he to she one week, she to he the next) try to guess the identity of the likes of David Van Day, Richard Fairbrass and Mark Morrison dressed head to toe like some twat on "It's a Knockout".

Will I be watching?  Not whilst I've still got a hole in my arse.


Comedy is a bit deader than it was last week

I saw a trailer for a Russell Howard show over Christmas.  Imagine my surprise when the advert featured him taking the piss out of who?

Donald Trump.

This is an award winning comedian whose act now consists solely in taking the piss out of Trump or Brexit.  Really difficult to do.

Worse than that though, word has reached Toast Towers of a new comedy club deemed as "Safe".

And by safe, what does it mean?  It means the content is politically correct only, has a parity on genders on the booking list (regardless of talent) and get this, you are guaranteed that the "comedian" will not take the piss out of anyone on the front row or anyone in the audience for that matter.

That is not comedy, that's a childrens show. 

If this if your kind of comedy then you're the arsehole who keeps Mrs Brown's Boy on the air.  Twat.


And finally...

Apparently yesterday was Fat Cat Friday

Until next time!