15th March 2020

So then, Corona Virus!

It's spreading fast across the world and there's lots of seemingly fake news being spread about it too.

Some of it is just ludicrous, it's made up by either idiots or people who think they know what they are talking about!

I've seen claims that having hot drinks or taking hot baths will kill the virus! What?

Of course, a lot of this stuff is shared across Facebook as always, but again people are blindly just sharing stuff without checking first.

Please, stop doing this, it is not helpful and just makes things worse.


Politicising Corona

This really annoys me.  As if there isn't enough going on without the Left turning this in to a "This is all Brexit's fault" thing.

Because the UK leaving the EU IN December THIS year is the reasion why a load of people in China were eating bats and contaminating the rest of the world.

OK... (*Makes cuckoo sound like in the cartoons*)

What's worse about it being politicised though are those who are absolutely desperate for people to die just so they can have a dig at Boris.

When it was announced that Health Minister Nadine Dorries had it people were happy, they were actually saying, "Good, another Tory gone".

Like, WTF people?! These are people dying of a new condition that has no vaccine and because a Tory is affected it's classed as good news.

Leave the politics for another day, eh?  Point scoring shouldn't be taking place here, there's more important things to worry about.

(For the record, Nadine is recovering, she isn't dead!  But that hasn't stopped the nasty comments)


MOT Headlines #1

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn announces plans to nationalise the Corona Virus.


Is Boris doing enough?

Prime Minister Boris Johnson can't really win can he?  He's damned if he does, damned if the doesn't.

Is he doing enough to contain and limit the spread of Corona?

I mean, Karen on Facebook says he should have locked down the entire country and she's an expert because she sits in front of a computer for a living.

Should we be copying Italy where the country is in lock down?  I don't know.  Boris is surrounded by scientists, not Karen from Facebook or some twat on Twitter.

The Chief Medical Officer is thought to be a very likeable, intelligent and knowledgeable man.  

Isn't Boris right to be taking the advice from his own CMO?  Why would someone in such a position seek advice from someone with no background in medicine?

Time will tell if he's followed the right advice, as things spread they might need to change tack.  That's not a "U-Turn" for those point scoring pricks, it's reactionary and shows he's not just sticking with 1 plan.

So, sorry, Dave from Twitter, you're a window cleaner in Bedford, you're not an expert on viruses, we'll not be listening to you today.


Speaking of experts...

There are so many people who think they know what's going on, the fact is, most of us have no clue as to how bad it is.  Yes, you always get those who say, "Oh it's not that bad, it's just like a bad cold" but these are the same dolts who say they have flu when they have a bog standard cold.

I've had proper full blown flu several times in my life and I can tell you, it knocks the shit out of you.  I last had it in 2013 despite having my annual flu injection months previous.  The normal flu virus really does leave you absolutely fucked for days.  In fact, if death was an option I'd have taken it, that's how awful it was.  They say the true test of it is to leave a £20 on the floor in front of the patient and if they won't move to pick it up you know it's flu.  It's funny when you say it, but seriously, I really would have taken death at that time.

There's so many experts on Facebook too, spreading "helpful hints" on how not to get it or to test if you do have it.

They've not been around anyone who has is it, so these "helpful hints" are just made up bullshit.  Like the "Hold your breath for 10 seconds and if you can do it without coughing then you don't have it"

Stupid, stupid people!

Why would you believe a hairdresser on Facebook over the World Health Organisaton for gods sake? 

And let's ignore those people who post status updates that they have the virus and what the symptoms are.

Piss off, if you've got it, you ain't gonna be on Facebook regaling us all with your tales of illness, you're going to be in bed feeling like absolute death. Cretin.

And those people who share these stories, you don't even know them!  If it was one of your mates that's had it that's different, but you're sharing a story from someone you don't know that hasn't been checked out.  Why you do that?  It's just nonsense.


Let's go shopping

Panic buying.  FFS, what are you doing you dicks?  You've bought 27 toilet rolls, why?  Planning on getting the shits?

Corona virus doesn't give you the runs.

If you're self isolating you don't need more than a week's worth of bog roll.

If you have the virus you won't be shitting at all, because you won't be eating.

What the hell are you doing buying up everything?  There's no need.  A weekly shop is enough to get by.

I'm actually really fucking embarrassed about the state of the country behaving in this way.  You're all a bunch of selfish, ignorant sheep.

You're stopping the elderly and vulnerable from getting what they need, just because you think you need a years worth of pasta, rice and loo roll.

Congratulations on being an arsehole.

Funny though, you've bought up all the pasta but the shelves are still full of pasta sauce.  You eating that pasta on it's own huh?



MOT Headlines #2

Diane Abbott thought COVID-19 was a Welsh lad's Tinder profile name.


Are you worried about Corona?

I know I am.  As someone with a history of chest infections (don't smoke, kids) and a lower immune system due to Diabetes I'm worried, of course I am.

Having told you in a previous paragraph that I've had flu several times, it worries me that I could be struck down with it.

I travel on public transport for 80 minutes a day where people cough without putting their hands to their mouths and I touch handrails (I was going to say I touch poles but that sounded a bit gay) and doors that dirty people have touched.

It's always hot, it has to be a breeding ground for a bacteria and the like, surely?

I'm very hygienic, always wash my hands after the toilet etc but I'm doing it even more now.

We can all help to stop the spread of it if we continue this.

Maybe we could sing a song at the virus too?  That might help.

We could get that Brit girl weirdo to stop singing about the EU for a bit and do some songs about Corona.

And that "Stop Brexiiiittttt" shouting nonce who stands outside parliament all day every day.  Maybe he could shout "Go away Coronnnnnaaaaa" into his loudhaler?

Maybe get Chuck Norris and Zlatan Ibrahimovic to fight it, them two will put Corona in self-isolsation.

I'm not trying to stir anything up here, it is a genuine threat and I hope we tackle it before it's too late.  Stay safe people, genuinely.


And finally...

Was Vicky the Viking the first trans nightmare?


Try not to die, bitches!





Copyright © 2000-2021 Monkey on Toast. All rights Reserved.