Man almost dies after forgetting to breathe

A man from Chesterfield almost died this week when he forgot to breathe.

Kevin Mincemeat, 25 said, "I watched the Prime Ministers speech on Sunday and thought I knew everything there was about life but later on I just physically stopped breathing!"

Kevin, a currently fuloughed printer physically stopped breathing because Boris Johnson didn't tell him he needed to in his speech.

"Boris Johnson didn't tell me I needed to breathe, so I didn't", he said, "I just thought, 'Oh, I don't need to breathe if old BoJo hasn't told me to, like'".

Kevin, who is known as a bit of a plonker will be fired into sun for stupidity just as soon as flights resume.

Copyright © 2000-2021 Monkey on Toast. All rights Reserved.