Judge bans Girlfriend word

A high court judge has ordered the banning of the words girlfriend and boyfriend in a bid to halt the rising tide of paedophiles in the country. 
The ban was started as a petition by a group of left wing simpletons known as “Ponces against Nonces” who believe that by men referring to their unmarried partners as their “girlfriend” suggested the partner in question was under the legal age of consent. 
Judge Mike Reinhold told a court, “This is a win for society and helps the fight against fiddlers.” 
However, there has been strong opposition against the ruling.  One man, Ryan Hunter told a Monkey on Toast source, “The ruling is ridiculous!  It’s just a word.  My girlfriend is 26 and I’m 27. How does that make me a nonce?” 
Meanwhile, Peter File, 58 told us “It’s political correctness gone mad.  Just because we use the word girlfriend doesn’t mean we are dodgy!  My girlfriend told me the other day that her friends have been calling me a paedophile behind my back!  Personally I think that’s a big word for a 13 year old to use.” 
The ruling has delighted The Paedo Finder General from Monkey Dust who told us, “You are all paedophiles and will be burnt in hell!” 
He's a cheerful soul.