The latest conspiracy theory

You know me, I love a good conspiracy theory.

The dafter the better, especially when you question the motives behind the supposed incident and are met with a wall of silence.

But this one absolutely takes the biscuit.  In fact, it takes the entire biscuit tin.  And there's Rich Teas in there too. Filth.


Roving Monkey on Toast undercover report, Ankh has unearthed a whole "rabbit hole" of "awake" people.  People who like to refer to non-believers as "sheeple".

People, stop your grinning and drop your linen, this one's literally UN-FUCKING-REAL.


satan paedo 01

So, Josh, who looks like a chav says the Ellen show was cancelled not because she was a bit racist to staff and a bit of a shit. No, it's because she's a "pedophile" (sic).

Which is odd grounds to cancel a show considering she hasn't been investigated, arrested OR convicted.

According to Josh, who definitely isn't unemployed, Ellen was involved in a sex / torture operation and is under house arrest along, doing her show from there.

Wait, I thought her show was cancelled?  So it's cancelled, but NOT actually cancelled, right Josh?

And oh, it's YOUR.  Else it's YOU ARE HEART IS BROKEN.

Better learn some English before being a dick on the internet with unfounded claims.

But wait... Josh has friends who definitely also know what's going on...

satan paedo 02

This is unreal.  Really.  Barack Obama, Hilary Clinton, Beyonce, Jay Z, Lady Gaga and probably Noel Edmunds are all claimed to be part of a sex / torture operation.

Seems legit.  No, really.

(Give me 5 mins to stop laughing.  Talk amongst yourselves)

OK, I'm back.

So, let's get this straight.  A bunch of NOBODIES on Facebook absolutely know for certain that a bunch of celebrities are part of a paedophile ring that tortures kids.

All these people.  Under house arrest.

Hmm.  Really?


But wait, it gets even better.

satan paedo 03

satan paedo 04

Here's Ryan Cue, who probably knows a thing or two about child porn himself to tell us that many fast food restaurants, not just McDonalds (that's all right then) are putting dead babies into our food.

Yep, kids are getting bummed, murdered then mushed up and we're being turned into cannibals because we're eating the corpses of abused kids.

And to prove it here's a picture of a baby made to look like a clown.

You're the only clown here, Ryan, you absolute length.


satan paedo 05

Did she?  That's not very nice of her is it?

When you say "this little girl", which one are referring to, because it's just some shouty words and there's no pictures or any kind of evidence.

You're just typing shit about, admittedly an absolute cunt, but it's as baseless as your life.

satan paedo 06

The virus, I assume you mean COVID-19?  OK.

Kills older people, not kids.  Well, that's mostly true but here in the UK some kids have died from it.  Not everyone who died is 60+.  But I'll give you that.

Deep state illuminati paedophiles created it to kill ALL the adults so there will be no-one to protect the children.

It was created so they could use the kids for THERE (sic) sick games.  Wear a mask, stay alive, defend YOU ARE angels.


Oh.  So, if it kills ALL the adults then doesn't it also kill the deep state illuminati that created it?

Didn't think of that, did you?  Best take your horrendous meme and fuck off back to where you came from.  Then when you get there, fuck off a bit more you tedious shit pipe.


And we move on to Bill Gates because apparently he's also involved too:

satan paedo 07

Yeah!  Bill Gates would deny it's his plan to er, what's his plan again?

Something about being on Epstein's flight log.  Not sure if it's true, can't be arsed to check, I'd wager it's bollocks.

Now, this person can't believe that only 28% of the people are AWAKE.  I guess it depends where you live.

If you're in Australia right now, it's probably bed time or something.

Oh, you mean, WOKE not awake?

28% of people.  Wow, that isn't much is it?  Tell me, what did you use to quantify it, because it sure as hell isn't a brain.

I can't believe that 75.8678% of people like you are dangerous tossers.

I can't believe I just made that up.

I can't believe it's not butter.


So, what's this all about?  All these claims point back to Pizzagate but not just that, there's a secret sex / torture operation that EVERYONE knows about where babies faces are cut off and worn as masks.

And then when these babies are tortured in this way their Adrenal glands are harvested because they secrete something called Adrenachrome due to the torture!

Yes, that sounds totally plausible.

And what is this Adrenachrome used for?  Apparently these monsters use it to keep themselves young looking.  Despite all this, Hilary Clinton has been using these for years and still looks like a haggered old trout, so I don't think it's working.

In all honesty it sounds like the premise for a dreadful film.

I'm surprised all these people who believe this shit aren't police or scientists as they seem to have the answer to everything.

Hopefully they'll all have Coronavirus soon too, then we can cleanse the gene pool - the bad minges.

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