Here we go, she's fast turning into my new favourite Rag Watch star.

karen matthews benidorm

Karen Matthews is "believed" to soon travel to Benidorm after becoming fascinated with the ITV sitcom.

Oh, mate.

The fact it says "believed" means that the Mirror's BS writer has no idea about it at all and is just making shit up.

I mean, she may very well be off to Spain, and fair fucks to the woman.  I don't care, neither should you. She's paying for it, not you.

If she's been sat there in prison watching Benidorm and thinking, "Ayup, that looks a cracking 'oliday that, like.  I'm bluddy off here when I get outta 'ere" then let her.

I'd very much doubt that's what's happened though, in all fairness.

Meanwhile the paper goes on to say that, "The callous parent is looking for £7-an-hour cleaning jobs to fund her trip".

Which, given she's 44 the minimum wage is £8.21 - so who's paying below minimum wage? Find out and report them!

And someone is clearly following her about because the paper says she, "..visited a pet shop, sports and tool shops and Sainsbury's, before tucking into a fish and chip lunch"

They're obsessed with what she's eating!  Last time it was McDonalds.

Jesus!

I don't have any sympathy for the woman considering what she did, however, she's an ex con who has served her time.  She didn't murder anyone, she's fiddled no kids.

She's a bit thick.  And fat.  And ugly. (Quite a lot of the last 2)

Just let her get on with her life and stop following her around.

She's made her bed, let her kid lie under it.

karen matthews likes mcdonalds

She's back!  The Daily Mail fucking love her.  Well, they love writing about her anyway.

And what's "Britain's worst mother" done this time?  Hidden another child in a bed to claim she's been abducted and get some ransom money? Murdered her child in Portugal and then claim she was abducted?

No, she's had a fucking McDonalds meal.

"Britain's worst mother Karen Matthews enjoys McDonalds takeaways" they tell us.  What a bitch!  String her up immediately!

The top headline is worse, where it claims she gets £300 a week benefits which she spends on manicures, scratch cards and Maccie D's.

It's all just too much!  I can't take it.

We should all be outraged, right?  A woman who was convicted of a crime, did her time and is currently not being a criminal spends her "dole" money on McDonalds.

Mate, so does half the town I live in.  And how often can one have a manicure?  It's not a daily occurance is it?

And £300 a week, give over!  Just plucking random numbers out your Daily Mail Arse to outrage people.

Don't get me wrong, I love exposing people.  I love giving you the hard facts but as it stands right now, all I can see is a fat ex con having some scran, which isn't a crime.

Welcome to Rag Watch, Karen Matthews.

vanessa george

This is classic Red Top territory. Person who commits a crime and goes to prison, serves their time and comes out MUST NEVER EVER SMIRK, SMILE OR LAUGH ever again.

I'm not ignoring the fact this woman is a fucking evil pervert paedo, but this gets in Rag Watch purely because of the headline.

I mean, she's not even smirking there anyway.  Smirking is what teenagers do when you're telling them off, right before you give them a forearm to the face.

She's laughing there.  As Greta would say, "How dare you!"

Whenever someone greets or tells someone who's been in prison before a joke they must respond with, "I'm sorry, I am a criminal and according to the Sun I must not laugh at your joke no matter how funny it is"

It's the law.

What does a "Wardrobe malfunction" mean to you?

For me, it's when I bought something from MFI, put the twat together and it fell apart after a few weeks.

But apparently it means things like when blouses or skirts fall down by themselves in "You've been framed" type hilarity.

Or like that time when Justin Timberlake pulled Janet Jackson's top off to expose a nipple during the Superbowl Half Time Show.

The Daily Star have gone one step more desperate though. In a bid to show any pictures at all of Holly Willoughby they claim she suffered a wardrobe malfunction because her top turned "transparent".

I don't mind a bit of Holly, if I'm honest.  She's a good looking woman, so I was keen to see just how transparent her top was.

Could you see everything?  Was I going to be drooling?  Would my eyes be on stalks like a 1960's Disney wolf?

It seems not.

Transparent to the Daily Star has a different definition to me then.

Because, in the Daily Star's desperation to get us to click and look at Holly's boobs which were clearly on show to all and sundry what they actually meant was that we could see the top of her bra though her top.

Oh.

Just look at the below, "Is Holly aware her top is see-through?"

Is it, is it really?  Well, no it's not is it?

ragwatch holly seethrough top

That's no different to any woman I've ever worked with in life.  You wear a white top, your bra is going to be on show.

Is that an issue?  I always though that was part of life. No one actually cares.

These Red Tops really are desperate!

The Daily Mail did an article about some knobhead being offended by the use of the word "faggot" in Fairytale of New York, a song that's been around since 1986 if memory serves.

But as the paper tries to educate us all on the lyrics to the song and why Kirsty MacColl calls MacGowan a "cheap, lousy faggot" it's because he says she's an "old slut on drunk".

Old slut on drunk!  It's doesn't even make fucking sense!

Dear Daily Mail, it's "old slut on JUNK", junk being heroin, you bunch of feckless cretins.