Our undercover agent, Ankh first alerted me to this guy, we'll call him Martin as that's his name, during COVID.

He made all sorts of wild claims and although we found out in the long run that he wasn't necessarily wrong about them all but this one that has come up lately is what's known in the trade as "a doozy".

sms pylon

So, he thinks that pylons are there to pull energy from the ether for free and then that energy is sent to our homes.  And we're being ripped off.

I mean, he's right about the latter part.

But really?  I mean, if this was true why aren't there pylons EVERYWHERE?  There aren't.

In fact, I seem to recall there are LESS pylons out there these days than when I was a kid.

He tries to set up his claim at the start, "People think they are there to help carry the cables"

Well, yes, they are.

"Most cables are underground"

Yes, they are.

But just look where you do actually see pylons.

Across farmers fields, across roads, motorway bridges etc.  You can't lay high voltage cables there.  No farmer is going to have their land dug up to house this cables.

If it was true that energy is just pulled "from the ether" then there would be pylons everywhere.  There also wouldn't be talk of capacity problems, we wouldn't need nuclear power stations or gas powered electric power stations would we?

To suggest that Tesla proved this is also nonsense.  Tesla may have wanted free energy for all, but he didn't pull it out the sky and send it to someone's house!  He transmitted electricity over a short distance using radio waves, that's not quite the same!


Interesting that he thinks we should get something for free just because it's available for free too.  I mean, water falls out of the sky doesn't it but we have to pay for it to be treated, distributed and the upkeep of the pipes etc.

I mean, we get ripped off there too, granted, but just because it falls from the sky for free doesn't mean to say it should be free for us.

Even if this pylon theory was true, who pays for the pylons?  Surely these pylons have to do something to turn the magical ether juice into actual electricity?  Who pays for the hardware? Who pays for the cables to come to your house?  It's only ever going to be free if you do it yourself, and it's only free AFTER you've built your infrastructure.

"Only fear and lack of knowledge means you still pay for them".  Does he get free 'leccy now then?

He says "Knowledge is power", I thought pylons were power!

I can honestly say that this is one theory I won't look back at in 2 years and say, "Oh, that Martin fella, I think he was right after all"...

These 2 tweets were sent to me from someone today when the topic of vaccine effectiveness came up...

worcs healthcare

What I like about liars is they usually can be found out quite easily.

So, let's unpack this nonsense.

Matey boy says he was in hospital for 5 weeks from 11th December 2021 - on critical care due to COVID.  He said (in a separate tweet) that everyone on the ward was there due to COVID.

Sounds like BS at this late stage of the game.  12 months previously I might have believed it, but let's go on.

So, I'm taking his 5 week period from 5th December 2021 to 15th January 2022.

Only 2 people were vaccinated, the rest are great unwashed.

Not sure how he knew this, and it also seems like BS but let's carry on.

Checking the size of the critical care unit for the hospital he claimed to be in, there were only 24 beds,  A new 29 bed ICU wasn't opened until July THIS YEAR.

So, it's bullshit.

Anyway... carry on...


Out of the 28 imaginary people on his ward, 9 had to ventilated.

Oh really.  I was shocked (shocked, I tell you) when I checked the official NHS stats for 1st October 2021 to 31st March 2022 - Not a single person was on a ventilator for the whole period, let alone while he was there.

He also claimed there were 28 people on the ward, hmm.  Again, the official NHS stats for the 5 week period he cites says there was a grand total of 12 people in occupied beds.

Think he was admitted due to a blow to the head!

And to say he didn't see any of the others again, well he wouldn't would he, because he never saw them in the first place, the lying bastard.

The way he bandies figures around are a good indicator it's lies anyway.  If he was as ill as he claims, he wouldn't know how many people were on his ward, who had what issues and so on.  And the nurses certainly wouldn't be keeping him up to date with everyone else's conditions!


sms lord sugar

Lord Sugar posts a picture of his yacht against a lovely looking sunset...

Ruairi doesn't like that and tells Lord Sugar that he shouldn't be doing that because people are struggling with the cost of living.

What's it got to do with old "Roary" anyway?  I mean, Lord Sugar is a bit of a cunt at times, but it's not like he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.  He's worked for the fortune he has.  If he wants to buy a boat and show it off he can do.

It's a really odd mindset to have to want people to have to "suffer" the same as you.  

I'm going to go and take some pictures of the 2 tubs of Lurpak (real stuff too) in my fridge and put it on Twitter.  Might even @ Roary.


Next up...

sms coconut1

Adam really dislikes Brexit, thinks the Tories and Brexit are to blame for racism and xenophobia in the UK.

I mean, he doesn't even live in the UK at all, but still hates Brexit, probably thinks it gets him in with the weirdo FBPE "chicks".


sms coconut2

Oh, turns out he's racist too.



We've got Triplets of Social Media Shitheads for you this time.

First up:

sms fbpe twat

Check out the state of this absolute cunt.  He's literally stopped talking to his mum because she voted for Brexit.

Imagine being this much of a twat towards you own mother!  Can't chat about how business is going, holidays, plans for the future or his daughter's (who looks about 2) opportunities.

Why not?  You can do ALL of those things.  Unless there's a secret Brexit law I am not aware of that says if you voted Remain and your mother voted Brexit then you have to stop all communication.

How his mother voted in anything, be it General Election, Brexit Referendum or fucking Popstars: The Rivals has got absolutely fuck all to do with this arsehole who can't see any other opinion than his own.

Clearly the problem isn't his mum but it's him.  Typical lefty a-hole who thinks everyone else is wrong and won't even debate.  

FBPE in name, Euro flag and the Ukraine flag too!  I bet he's got pronouns in his bio too.  What a throbber.

I hope his Mum is stinking rich and when she dies leaves him fuck all.  Give it to the Dogs Trust, love.


Next slide please:

sms jack monroe

Some people love Monroe, personally I can't stand her.  She's not the genuine "poor, single mum" she has claimed to be.  She spends most of her time slagging off the Government or some such rather than talking about cooking or whatever it is she's supposed to talk about.

Anyway, this top tip reminds me of something you'd see in Viz!

So, what is your top tip for spending less money on the weekly shop?  I mean, sure, the supermarkets are ripping us all off with the prices of some products doubling.

Do a full stocktake every now and then of what's in the cupboards, fridge and freezer...  She wants to explain how it works. 

Er, really?

Does it need more tweets?  No.

You've just told us.  And why only do it "every now and then"?  Why not every week?

I check what's in my freezer every week before I do the food shop.  I see enough of the fridge on a daily basis to know what's in it.

And the cupboards?  Again, surely you check to see how many tins of Alphabetti Spaghetti or whatever your go-to pasta in tomato sauce delicacy is?  I do.

So, what she's saying is "Don't buy more than you need to"

Gee, thanks, never thought of that.


And finally...

sms covid

Vaccinated man tests positive for COVID.  Is furious at people who won't wear masks or get vaccinated.

Some people are lost to the cult.  Absolute tit.

Welcome to another edition of Social Media Shitheads.

This time, we're back with more Facebook Fucktards, it's been a while.

sms facebook 1

We're back to the old "Copy and paste this text as your status and the system will suddenly do something new" ruse.

I mean, firstly what does it mean "Upgrades the system"?  Upgrade to what?

Because you've copied a bit of text it's going to somehow present you with a different "version" of Facebook in your browser or install a different app on your device?

How are people this fucking dim?

When I pointed out to the person who pasted this that it was clearly a "scam" of sorts,. although not a scam in the traditional sense as you don't lose anything - other than dignity and integrity, the son of the poster actually replied "Who's this?"

Someone who's not a gullible fuckwitt, son.


sms facebook 2

And other!  Their was showing adverts and notifications because that's Facebook.  You can't change that.

So the suggestion is to "send a Facebook message".  And how do I do that?

Oh, I copy and paste the text into my status and that's it?  So, not sending a Facebook message then?  Like, for instance in Facebook Messenger?

Hello old friends!