Ah, Jonathan's back once again - A bit like the Renegade Master, with the ill behaviour.

This time he's here to tell the world that "someone" who works at the Prince Phillip Hospital in Llanelli has told him that one of her colleagues died as a result of the COVID-19 vaccination.


And straight away the "sheeple" jump in, believing everything he says!

Vanessa Machiavelli there, spouting some shite about a doctor who supposedly died after having the CV vaccine too.

But look!  Sarah discredits Jonathan's claim and Vanessa retorts with a childish, "They censor and silence the truth..."

How convenient eh?

Going back to the original post, Prince Phillip Hospital has already issued a statement stating that is simply isn't true.  Doesn't stop these cranks from pressing on though does it?

If you look closer to Vanessa's post, as I have, I find it very strange that the Facebook profile of the lady who claims her husband died has no friends associated with it and it's the only post on the account.

It's almost as if it was created by a random person and not the actual wife at all. 

Which immediately rings alarm bells on the Monkey on Toast Bullshit Detector.

So, Jonathan's "Breaking News" is all horseshit but all his dickhead followers lap it up claiming it's a "global de-population plan".

It's not, it's a nasty virus.  Deal with it, stop talking shit.

I'm sure there will be more from his Captain Bullshit again.... I've gone undercover, so I have.


Over on Facebook there's a massive bell end who goes by the name of Jonathan Morgan.

Jonathan's a bit dangerous.  Probably needs a hard drive check too, if I'm honest.

And why is he so dangerous?  Because he's a 5G'er.  One of those cocks who seriously believes that 5G is to blame for all our COVID woes, along with plenty other symptoms.

Look at this nonsense:

FF JM 5G 01

It's funny how only his "mates" or dumb arse followers are the only ones who seem to be affected by this.

Surely, if 5G was so bad the people working on it in the first place would have been affected, no?

Surely it wouldn't have got past testing?

It wouldn't, and don't call be Shirely.

If it had these kind of effects wouldn't it affect EVERYONE in the area?  It's strange how it only seems to affect certain people.  Like nutters, for example.

It's like there being a nuclear explosion in a big city but only 20 people complaining their face is melting off or their hair is falling out.

Chernobyl affected everyone in the area, not just Nikolai and his friends down the estate.

I also find it very strange that people seem to be complaining of symptoms when they don't even have 5G in their area.  

Hmm that must be some super strength shit.  Or you're what some doctors might refer to as, "a fucking liar".

Meanwhile, Morgan must be the surname for bedwetting bullshitters because here comes Timothy to add his two-penneth of bollocks:

FF JM 5G 02

Flu like symptoms in peak flu season?  Well, glory be!

Ah, but it went away as soon as you turned off your wifi and mobile data?

That is odd.  Because 5G is only for mobile data.

You do know that your 5G Wifi at home means 5 Gigahertz, right, while the 5G you're wetting your dress about means "Fifth Generation", which typically runs around 28 Gigahertz upwards?

Oh, you didn't know that?  You just saw 5G and pissed in your panties?  Move along Timothy you stupid crank.

Strange how this "Electro Smart App" went green when Wifi and data is off.  An app that analyzes radio frequencies using the phone... Right.  It's a bit like saying, "I've not been able to listen to Radio 5 Live on my DAB since I switched my DAB off".

And if you didn't think people like Jonathan were bad enough, here he is telling someone whose friend died of COVID that she definitely didn't die of that and would absolutely have been something else.  Essentially he's calling someone a liar and has the audacity to ask "Hope you're OK".

What a fucking cunt.

FF JM 5G 03

COVID has been mismanaged the world over, but for people like this to claim it's not real or that it's actually 5G - they need seeing to.  Please don't listen to people like this, most of them are out to gain followers and earn money from it.  Some of them don't even believe what they're spouting, like some American Evangelist.  But there are some who genuinely believe what they say.  They have no hard evidence whatsoever and when confronted with the truth try to discredit those who confront them.

Here at the Monkey, we tell it straight.  We might exaggerate sometimes, we might get it wrong sometimes too, but we always challenge those we believe are talking shit.  This guy is 100% talking out his arse.

Check ths shit out.

facebook fuckwitt dwindled

Firstly, the first line makes no sense:

"Been wondering why I have a dwindled down to a small circle seeing my posts!"


So, you're saying that not many people are seeing your posts then?  How would you know that?  You wouldn't.

But wait, because you've a "tip" to "circumvent" Facebook's new algorithm.  Go on, tell me more about this new algorithm.  I mean, you're hardly a computer scientist, in fact I think you're a hair dresser but crack on, tell me more.

This new algorithm picks the same 25 people who will see your posts.  OK.  Yep, sounds legit.  In fact, maybe people just aren't interacting with you because you're a boring twat?  Or you're a bit needy with your "Fewming!" posts.

Wait for that "U OK Hun?" inbox message.

So, to circumvent this what do you do?

Ohhh, you copy the text and paste it in your own "What's on your mind?" field.  Which then updates your status to that same piece of text.

Well, isn't that clever, you gulluible twat.

In fact, I don't think it's worked because there's one less person reading your inane shit now, I've just unfriended you for being a dickhead.

Really, how are people so fucking thick?


We're back with another Fuckwitt!

This one's a real doozy.


The person who shared it says she got this from her daughter who is a policewoman, yet the woman who shared it doesn't have a daughter.  I've seen this twice in the last 2 weeks and the 2nd one didn't have the first line.

Anyway, what it suggests is that you get a text message from O2 or Vodafone saying there's a problem with your bill.

When you click the link to take you to the site your money is taken from your account.

Firstly, what a load of bollocks.  There is no such way that could erven happen.

Why are people so gullible?  What do they think is setup in the background that you clicking a link will suddenly take money from your account?

It's just not possible.

"They already have all your details and it's the most advanced scam the bank has ever seen"

What bank?  There's no mention of a bank there.

If a fraudster has your details already, they'll do what they can with your account.  

"Thousands flying out of peoples accounts!"

Sure it is mate.

It's funny that it hasn't been on the news or anything.  You'd expect to maybe get some e-mails from your bank warning you at least.

It's simply not true.

Now, what I can tell you is that it's a actually a phishing attempt.  You'll get an e-mail purporting to be from EE for example, you click the link and it takes you to a site that looks remarkably like the EE site.

You try to log in, it tells you there's a problem.  Meanwhile it's just logged your username and password.

If you're not a customer of Giff Gaff and you receive an e-mail saying there's a problem with your account, what do you do?  You delete it, right?

But don't click that link!  Because thousands of pounds will go out of your account using details from Giff Gaff's system!

How stupid does it sound?  You really must be dumb to fall for this stuff.

I told one person who shared this it was fake, her response, "I'm not even an O2 customer, so I just deleted the e-mail"

So, why share this?!  You don't get e-mails from companies you don't have an account with telling you there's a problem with your account!



Have you seen this shit? I mean, what the fucking fuck is that?

OK, so everyone replies with BFF and it goes green because that's what Facebook does no matter where you post it.

Let's just break this down a little though, eh?

Mark Zuckerberg has decided that he's perfectly happy to have insecure account of Facebook, but if you type BFF onto a post it magically makes it safe.

If it doesn't you need to change your password.


Not only is that the biggest load of wank since I don't know when, why on earth would we be informed about it not from Zuckerberg or Facebook itself but from a page called "Viral Mate".

I mean, seriously people, are you that fucking stupid that you think the security of Facebook is left to a page with the word Viral in its name, begging you to type something on their page for likes.

You're a bunch of fucking idiots.

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