Back again friends!

Maxine is back too, this time she's had a go on the Moderna vaccine.


Things that are racist #973

It's not the Countryside or Sailing this time.

Could it be swimming?


Coming out of lockdown

Now we're coming out of lockdown and some things appear to be returning to some level of normality we have some people determined to keep us locked away.

The pandemic has been badly handled, this is one of the most important pieces I've written for a long time.


A COVID cure

Turns out there's an unlikely but effective cure!


Until next time!

Phil the Greek has gone for a Burton

And straight away the vile Lefties are out in force calling him all sorts of names.

He was a paedophile, a Nazi and a racist - apparently

Yet, strangely there's no evidence to support any of those claims.

Not sure where the Nazi bit comes from given he's Greek not German, but it seems to be the standard go-to insult these days by the bedwetters.

And of course, all of these vile Lefties are dead against the Royals so they start fabricating claims about Meghan Markle...

Living rent free in their heads, she is. 

Let's be honest here, Phil served the Monarchy well.  He stayed in the shadows, never made it about himself and never leaked things to the press.

Despite what people think, he was very welcoming of both Diana and Meghan, knowing exactly how it felt to be an outsider.

RIP Big Man.


Meanwhile, a survey site doesn't quite understand how the Monarchy and Succession works...

queen stand down

I voted for Prince Andrew, of course.


Scott Markett

Scott is back with some more trading tips.


COVID Claptrap #1

The Spectator told us this week, "As many as one in three people with Covid-19 develop psychiatric illnesses such as depression, dementia, anxiety, psychosis and stroke in the six months after infection, a study has found", but just how true is this?  How many of these conditions such as anxiety and depression have been caused by being locked down?  How many people have suffered anxiety through the constant fearmongering served up on a daily basis by the media and Pol Potbelly himself, Bozo Johnson?

It's unfair to claim these conditions are an after-effect of COVID when we know that there are more people with psychiatric illnesses as a result of being told to stay at home or you'll die, for 12 fucking months.


Hitler in products

Remember in the last update where we covered Amazon changing their shopping app icon because a single person THOUGHT that it looked like Adolf Hitler?

Well, they'll shit themselves when they see these trainers made by Puma:

hitler trainers

Thanks to long time Toast fan Nick for this.  He tells us, "They make you run really fast through Europe"

He's not wrong!




COVID Claptrap #2

This week we were told that it is likely there will be another wave of COVID which will be even worse than the peak in January this year.  How is this even possible based off the number of vaccinations that have been carried out?

Answer - it was modelled on there being NO vaccinations at all.  That's just outright criminal fearmongering.


 And finally...

Over in Facebook Fuckwitts we have an idiot who is ashamed of her country.


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Until next time, friends.

Happy Easter everyone

So what's up this time?

Well, Tabatha is back with an article about SatNav's.


Amazon are Nazis

Amazon were forced to change the icon of their shopping app recently because, wait for it... one person THOUGHT the original icon looked like Adolf Hitler.


No shit.  Some absolute loon thought that the ribbon on the original logo (left above) looked like Hitler's moustache and was going to kick up a fuss.

I mean, it doesn't even look like Hitler, and they've had the logo for years.  You've got to be seriously mentally ill to think it looks remotely like Hitler.

This person probably sees Saddam Hussein in Bran Flakes and Idi Amin in a loaf of Sunblest - so why did Amazon head this off at the pass and change the logo?

They should have shamed the idiot, rather than pandering to 1 person.  Hell, they should have just had the fool taken out.


Things that are racist this week



And finally...

In Facebook Fuckwitts this week we have an Instagram Nonce who claims the Queen is no longer the Queen due to Astra Zeneca.

Until next time!

(PS - Don't forget you can sign up for the Mailing List to get notified of updates!)



Sorry, sorry!  I really need to get back to updating at least weekly!  I'm thinking about doing smaller updates to keep it regular.

Anyway, there's been all manner of stuff going off hasn't there!

So let's jump straight in.

Meghan blooming Markle.


A new writer!

Yes indeed!  We have ourselves a new writer here at Toast Towers, I welcome our very own Lefty Snowflake Tabatha Higgs-Boson.

She's posh and always right.

This time she talks about Cancel Culture


The Politicisation of Sarah Everard

The death of a woman at the hands of a copper has become so much more than it should thanks to some shameless people.


And finally...

 We have another new writer, Scott Markett who gives us his thoughts on the Stock Market.

He has some tips for what to look out for in April.

Emotional Blackmail

Heard those annoying COVID adverts on the radio?


Satire? No sir. 

I was going to do a satire piece on a teacher not turning up for online lessons due to snow and then I saw this..

school snow day

I mean, we've all experienced school closures (either for ourselves or our kids) due to snow but this takes the piss.  It seems schools close now when there's a flake of snow in the air, which wouldn't have happened in my day.  These days schools probably shut when there's a kid with rampant dandruff, thinking it's snowing.

Snow is not an excuse to stop homeschooling.  By god, our kids are getting a shit enough education online as it is without teachers doing crap like this.

We need the schools opening, and fast.


Maxine oin Vaccines

Maxine is back, this time reviewing the Pfizer vaccine.


GB News

Let's cancel it before it's begun.


(Once again) Queen Latifah is back

They've brought back the classic 80s series The Equalizer.


And finally...

 We haven't had a foray in the World of Woke for a while.

We do now though, He-Man is back!



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