Hallo everybody!

Back again with another little update!

SpecSavers Advert

As I was browsing the Specsavers site earlier I came across this!  I genuinely expected to scroll down to see Specsavers CLARKSON and Specsavers HAMMOND!

Bit disappointed, if I'm honest!

New Rant!

Used EBay much over the years?  Sold to some right old ringpieces?  Then have a gander at this!

So we're back with a new update!

I see the Government are actively discussing whether or not Donald Trump should be banned from entering England because he made a stupid remark about banning Muslims from entering America until they could "figure out just what the hell is going on."

Fair enough, that's obviously a pretty silly thing to say in public but really, you think he should be banned from entering the UK because of a stupid comment?

Yes, he's a bit of a dick and probably a social hand grenade but in truth the old fella is harmless.  What's really funny about this whole situation is that people want him banned from entering the country because of something he said yet there is nothing being done about the radical Muslims who are stirring up trouble at Mosques in this very same country.

So it seems it's broadly OK to call for the country to be destroyed from within by radicals who were not born in England yet you want to ban someone who wants his country to be protected from the same kind of people we're not willing to kick out.

Well done!  It really is a typical British trait of late to be offended on someone elses behalf.  Give over, you're a dick.


Another week, another celebrity or well known death.

Today it was announced that lead singer of The Eagles, Glenn Frey had died.

They really are coming thick and fast this year.

glenn frey funeral cremation

Site Forum

I've added a forum here at The Toast!  Join up and chat with us.

And finally...

I wrote something about the latest craze of watching and reactions!

Amusing things written in dirt #12

Those of you who followed the old site may remember I used to publish amusing things written in muck on the back of cars, vans etc.

This time, on the back of a van, "Clives Vag Wagon".

You dope!

So there are some suggestions to reset World Records for some athletics events!  I had this to say about it.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year everyone, back to the grindstone now for 2016 - Hope you all have a good one!

Lip Sync Battle

So there's a new TV show starting where the premise is for celebrities to pretend they're singing along to another persons song.

What the actual fuck is that about?  In fact, there used to be a show that ran from 1964 to 2006 where singers used to mime along to their own songs, it was called Top of the Pops!

You'd be surprised if I told you it's on Channel 5, right?

Thought not.

Coming soon!  Celebrity Air Guitar!

Young Jihadis

It's scary times with all the bad things going on in the world, and it's going to get worse.

There are more and more Brits going to Syria and Iraq to fight among their so-called brothers, to fight the Jihad.

What's even worse are those who are radicalising the youngsters, so they'll only ever to grow up to hate those "infidels" who aren't Muslims.

Especially this guy, Jihadi Bob, what a twat.

Christmas Update

Howdy folks, hope you had a good Christmas and are all set for a good New Years Eve?

No wild partying for me this year, those days are long gone and I'm quite pleased to be honest - there's something not quite right about queuing to get in pubs
you wouldn't have to queue to get in any other night, likewise paying to get into them when it's free every other night of the year.

Not to mention the number of jeb ends you have to put up with all night long.

However, going back to Christmas, I've written in the past about the spirit of Christmas not being what it used to be, although I think there's been a bit of a resurgence
in the last few years.  This year though, I was very surprised!

I had to go out on Christmas Day, late afternoon, let's call it "tea time".

As I was driving I was quite surprised to see a couple of Indian restaurants open, I imagine that people would have booked to eat there I figured they were
no different to the pubs that sometimes open on Christmas Day for Christmas dinners.

Then I saw 2 Indian takeaways open.  Rather odd, thought I, I have never seen that before!

However on my way back about 30 minutes later I actually saw 2 Pizza takeaways open.... On Christmas fucking Day!  What the actual fuck is that about?

What kind of cock womble foregoes Christmas Dinner, quite possibly the finest meal available to mankind only behind Yorkshire Fish and Chips to have a pizza/kebab/burger?

An absolute cock womble, is the correct answer.

I understand there are people on their own on Christmas Day, there always has been, and I don't really think these places opening are catering for the Billy No Mates
(or those who choose to spend the day on their own instead of being surrounded by a load of whoppers they call "Family".)

Christmas is well and truly broken!

Christmas #1

I was pleased to see a novelty Christmas Number 1 in the Chart (as opposed to Mr Hankey who was of course, a Christmas Number 2) this year, rather than Justin Bieber it was the NHS Choir that claimed the top spot.

Only problem I have with it is that when I tried to download it I was put on a waiting list......