Back again!  How y'all doing?

The year doesn't seem to be getting any better does it?  Although the roll out of COVID vaccinations looks promising.

I have to say though, the EU has really dropped a bollock and they're starting to show their true colours.

The UK had the foresight to order the 60 million doses of the Astra Zeneca / Oxford vaccine last year.  The EU however delayed signing their order contract for 3 months and now they expect the UK to just hand over any "spare" vaccines.  Spare?  Fuck off.

Now, no matter which way you voted in Brexit and I have been firmly on the fence because I have always seen the benefits of being in AND out, you have to admit the EU has behaved REALLY badly.  Some countries in the EU tried to place their own orders for the AZ vaccine and guess what, Germany told them NO.  The EU (which is now run by Germany) said they would order them...

Germany telling other countries what to do.  Never seen that before.


Home schooling

It's a bit shit isn't it?  Is school in general just fucked?


Big Tech

Big Tech have been bastards recently, with Parler being taken off App Stores and Amazon pulling their AWS storage for the app.

This is a problem for me because it's not for the tech firms to decide who can say what.  It's literally fucking free speech right over.

Now, you might think that Parler being shut down is a good thing, you might think that there's no room in the world for Right Wing shenanigans.  But Parler wasn't all about that, it was supposed to have been a place where people could talk about anything and share opinions, no matter what.  If you've never been on it you can't really comment either to be honest; you have to see it to believe it, non?

Twitter has been shutting people's accounts all over the shop over the last few months.  They're proper shady, deleting people's tweets, putting people on shadow bans etc.

Personally I didn't like to the look and feel of Parler but the point is there has to be places that allow people free speech.  Just because you might like what people are saying doesn't mean they're wrong and you're right.  We cannot lose this very important right.


Speaking of which...


Facebook has deleted the page of Socialist Worker as well as banning the accounts of those who ran it.  These people campaigned for the cancellation and de-platforming of people they deemed "troublesome" such as right wingers.  But now they're feeling the pain of it happening to them, according to the Express, "The group also shared their fury over the ban in a blog post for The Socialist Worker, which was sent to

They also criticised "social media bosses for not being on our side".

The utter gall of these people.  Cancel everyone and de-platform everyone who they don't like but when it happens to them they blame social media.  They just don't get it do they?!


New writer!

We have a new writer here at Toast Towers (we're socially distanced and the desks are wiped hourly with Dettol so it's all good) - Introducing John Spiracy!

This time John has an article about Big Tech meddling in people's lives.


Facebook Fuckwitts

We've another Fuckwitt in Facebook Fuckwitt Corner.

This time, Mel from Sunderland tells us all about the evils of Formaldehyde.


And finally

Whilst there IS a global pandemic on, the "Save the NHS" narrative has been around for years.  Just look at these headlines from the Grauniad over the last few years.

They're as bad as the Express with their weather, "This year we are literally going back to the Ice Age" then we have the mildest winter on record.

We know things are bad in the NHS, they are EVERY WINTER but exercise some caution and restraint, things are NOT as bad as we're told. Ever.

Grauniad NHS Crisis

Back again soon, have fun!



Where to start, where to fucking start?!

Let's start with the COVID Hoaxers.


Sticking with a COVID theme

Cheshire Police posted this on Facebook recently:

cheshire police lockdown

To which I considered being a bit naughty and suggesting it possibly didn't happen.

When I saw the replies I realised that there was a complete sense of humour bypass and it would be lost on them, so I left it, which is unlike me.

But then it occured to me, in all honesty, it doesn't sound totally plausible does it?

So, as they say, TO THE COMMENTS!

cheshire police lockdown comments1

So, Bernardette is pretty fuming really.  She knows the 2 chaps must have known about a lockdown!  We all know about the lockdown, right?

So to reaffirm it all, she's now asking questions...

Which taxi service allows passengers without masks?  Well, I've seen lots of people getting in taxis without wearing a mask.

Which shop would be open at 3 AM? Yeah you tell me.  And which shops don't allow people in with masks eh?

The thing is... she's not backing herself up here, she's actually doubting the story, just without knowing it.

It made me chuckle, she thinks she's being authoritive but she's actually doubting whether Cheshire Police are actually made the story up.

Let's answer the last 2 questions though.

All night garages are open at 3 AM.  Many of them have all night alcohol licences.  They also let people in without masks.  I should know, I once went in one when I forgot it.


And Deborah comes along too.  She too wants to stamp her authority on this story by having a go at the rotter offenders.  But she's unconciously throwing doubt on the story too.  Yeah, tell Debbie where you can buy beer at 3 AM.  They're definitely breaking rules.  She doesn't say what rrules but if the shop has a 24 hour alcohol licence then it's not that one.



cheshire police lockdown comments2

Ah, Kane.  You've fallen in the trap of thinking you KNOW who the so called offenders are and that YOU know THEY knew.

You don't.. and you don't.

Anyway, this story could have happened.  It doesn't sound too plausible in all honesty, but if it did then they people were dealt with.  That's it.


Facebook Fuckwitt Double Bill

We've a new twat in Facebook Fuckwitt land.

First up, this new twat is a 5G knobhead.

And he's also a COVID denier. (Which isn't a type of tights)


Fat Get Looks Stunning

Look at this nonsense!

amy tapper fat get

Gogglebox star Amy Tapper looks stunning.

I think the've spelled "fat" incorrectly.

It's shocking the way the media has normalised people like this being morbidly obese, it's just not right.

Amy, who has been as big as a house since she debuted on Googlebox aged around 16.  She seemed to get bigger every week, to the point where you couldn't tell which bit was her or the sofa.

I had to do a double take on this, I thought it said it was her "21 stone birthday" which probably is right.  She's the only person whose weight mirrors that of her age.

"What did you get for your birthday Amy?"



And finally...

Have you seen that advert from Ryan Air?  Basically what they're saying is, "There's a vaccination now so get booking your holidays! LOL"

Whilst I understand the travel industry is struggling due to the pandemic, this isn't a good look.

I know they need to keep making money to survive, we can't let the travel industry collapse but it just looks, well, irresponsible.

Maybe they should have waited a bit longer, when more than a 56th of the population has been vaccinated like it appears to be at the moment.

I've noticed a few other travel firms jumping on the same bandwagon but with less gusto and less blatant.


Happy New Year!


Hope you all had as good a Christmas as could have been expected given the circumstances.  Let's hope 2021 is a much better year, although I'm not convinced there will be any normality until at least 2022...


So what's happened in the last few weeks?




Take a knee, boooooo!

Milwall fans booed their players taking the knee and were immediately called racists.  Ah, that classic "go to" insult along with nazi, fascist, bigot etc.

Now, I can fully understand why they booed and I support them in that.  Does that make me racist and bigoted and not want black players to be equal to whitey?

Well, no.  Not quite, you see, taking the knee is political and politics have no place in sport.  Taking the knee and doing "black fist" isn't about solidarity, it's akin to supporting terrorism.

In the wake of it, Milwall said their players would link arms instead to show solidarity and equality - and you know what, Milwall fans were perfectly happy with it.

Haven't we learned enough in the last few months now to know that the whole BLM thing was a farce?  We know they as an organisation want to smash capitalism.  What the fuck's that got to do with black people not getting beaten up by white coppers?  Nothing.

I'm also not fully convinced the solidarity in football is for white and black players to be equal, take a look at the teams in the premier league.  Most teams have a black majority and those players earn more than the white ones.  It's not so straight forward now is it?


Speaking of equality...

 Anne Boleyn was black, dontchaknow.



A new article on Ragwatch about Fred Talbot drinking a pint.


And finally...

Date me or you're a bigot



Here we are again!  So, what's happened since the last update?

Well, Donald Trump tested positive for Coronavirus and all the Lefty weirdos and Anti-Trumpers said, "He doesn't have COVID, it's all made up, he's just trying to delay the election".

And then just over a week later he went out in a car and all the Lefty weirdos and Anti-Trumpers said, "This is disgusting! He's out there spreading COVID about!"

Which is a bit weird because a) He was IN A CAR, b) masked and most importantly c) YOU SAID HE DIDN'T HAVE COVID.

I guess when you don't like someone you just have to be contrary about eveything they say or do.


Things that are racist #572

The countryside.


Piss off Rishi

Chancellor and out of touch tosspot Rishi Sunak upset people recently when he suggested that artists and singers should retrain to other jobs.  Well that's all well and good isn't it?

Yes, let's see Katie Price retrain as a care assistant so she can get a new show on TV "Katie Cares".

Or let's see Pauline Quirke delivering for Tesco.

Instead of making stupid remarks like that why not work on getting the country back to normal?  And what jobs are all these comedians, singers et al supposed to do in all honesty?  Maybe they could retrain as assassins and take out the Government?


hans face space


What about the second wave?

There is no second wave.


And finally...

Let's start celebrating Halloween in July. 


Until next time, toodles.



Back again after a short break!


So, what's been going on of late?  Well, the Government introduce the "Rule of 6" which means that groups of people who don't live together cannot be greater than 6.

Secretary of State for Health Matt Handjob said that people should snitch on their neighbours if they break the rule.  This is very alarming.

You know who else used to encourage people to spy on and report their neighbours?  Adolf Hitler, and more recently Saddam Hussein.

Just what on earth is happening in this country?

Only a few short months ago we were encouraged to clap like baboons on a Thursday evening with our neighbours, we were told to come together as never before to defeat this virus.

We were told that these unprecedented times meant we could reset society so we'd be more loving to each other.

But now you want us to be a bunch of curtain twitching grasses.

Fuck you Matt Handcock, fuck you.


matt hancockTwat


Wear a mask

Have we gone mask mad?


More Matt Mandjob

Watch this video and tell me he's not an idiot.

When it was put to him that 30% of the COVID tests could be FALSE POSITIVES he just keeps repeating that people are only told to isolate if they've been in contact with someone who has tested positive.

He never answers the question, he's actually retarded.  Imagine being told you need to isolate for 14 days because you've come into contact with someone who has tested positive with a defective test!

It's a complete joke and sums this Government up completely, totally inept, clueless arseholes.


Spitting Image

Last time I did a rant about Spitting Image coming back. 

I was concerned it wouldn't be very good because satire in the UK is dead.  I feared it would be all about Trump and Brexit and the jokes would be the same ones I've seen on Facebook thousands of times over the last 4 years.  Well, I've just seen the first episode today.


It's hard to say from the first episode of course, but I will go back for more next week.  It was better than I expected.  No doubt someone will call racism because it's got Meghan Markle and Lewis Hamilton in it, because people are always arseholes like that.  So far though, so good.  Seeing Priti Patel as a dominatrix and later as a vampire was a good touch.

It remains to be seen if it will be a world beater, but it's started off on the right track.


And finally...

Some people complained at Des.