Trick or Treat

And that's another Halloween over with, thank god.

I've never been a fan of it, always found it a bit silly to be honest.

You see some kids knocking about that have made the effort, dressing up as vampires, skeletons and what-not.  Then you get the kids who just don't get Halloween at all.

Yesterday whilst driving I saw a kid dressed in a Disney Princess outfit, thankfully it was a girl.  Won't be long until the Gender Police change that though.

But seriously, if you're not going to dress up as something scary then what's the fucking point?

It's like turning up to a game of football dressed for wrestling, if you're not going to take part properly then don't bother.

I guess the snowflake parents just tell their kids, "Oh babez, you can wear whatever you want", but the truth is, they can't, if they want to take part in Halloween they should do it fucking properly.

I only had 2 Trick or Treaters around this year, which is handy as it means I'll still have some Rohypnol left for next year.

Incidentally, anyone want to buy a couple of kids?  


Halloween is too scary.


Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring you a humourless, lying nerk.

Sony Kapoor describes himself as "an influential macroeconomist, financial sector expert and development practitioner", which means he's a fucking busybody dickhead.

He tweeted this gem recently, as a reply to this classic:

Which is a letter sent in to Viz.  Not only did Sony not get the fact it's a pisstake but he also lied claiming "Adrian" voted for Brexit.

This is a real problem I have at the moment with the whole Brexit thing.  The country voted to leave the EU.  Whether you agree with it or not we have to accept that decision.

Almost 18 months after the vote to leave I am still sat on the fence, I can see the pros and cons of both sides and if I had to vote again I genuinely don't know which way it would go.

However, this seems to be a thing at the moment where Brexit has to be portrayed by the media as a bad thing.  The BBC is obsessed with joking about Brexit, where it insults and mocks those who voted to leave (Brexiteers I believe they're called).  Question Time and Mock the Week are just 2 of the shows I can think of immediately that does this.

Where are the people on TV taking the mick out of The Remoaners?

Maybe it's got something to do with the fact the BBC obtained a GRANT from the EU.  Hmmm.  Co-incidence?  I think not.

Back to the point, someone as clever and influential as Sony couldn't spot a joke a mile off and lies to make a mockery of someone who doesn't actually exist.

Yep, he's very clearly a massive cunt.



Here's a rant about old people and voting.


And finally...

Fuck the Police off and go private.

Welcome to another update, let's kick it off...

Whatever happened to the Bogeyman?

Nobody does Brexit better

Actually heard someone on the radio today say "Jeremy Corbyn should run Brexit as he will do a better job".

OK, just a slight problem with that, Labour didn't win the General Election so how on earth is the Leader of the Opposition (and therefore Shadow PM) going to run something that is run only by the elected Government?

It's absolutely ridiculous some of the shit that people come out with.  There's still a head in the sand mentality of some who think that Labour actually won the election.  You had your chance, it didn't work, wait until the next time.  But saying "They're not the Government" in your head doesn't make it true, you bastard mentalist.

Try saying "There's no place like home" three times and fucking off.


Time for a short rant...

Shit adverts on the radio


Tory Conference

Theresa May coughed and spluttered her way through a pretty cringey speech this week at the Tory Conference.

Mrs May was poorly sick, having had a cough and a cold all week.

According to some, that means she has to step down.

And then some idiot who plays a terrible "comedian" character on TV managed to get in and hand her a P45.

According to some, that means she has to step down.

And then a letter fell off the wall.

According to some, that means she has to step down.

Bit of a pattern here, no?

You want a woman who had a cough to resign because her speech wasn't as good as it could have been, because she was coughing up a lung?  And I'm in no doubt that had she not done the speech there would have been calls for her to step down for shirking responsibility.

At least she turned up for work, unlike Diane Abbott.  Theresa May has diabetes and showed up to work, Abbott was diagnosed with Type 15 Diabetes and had a few days off.  Or was that because she was sidelined for being an incompetent fool?

Lee Nelson got in and handed her a copy of a P45.  Hilarious.  You think Theresa May should step down because some hairy arsed security guard didn't do his job?

Same for the letter that fell off the wall.  I actually heard some one say "If they can't organise their own conference how on earth can they run the country?"

Really?  You honestly think the MP's and the PM are the one ones with the PMR radios doing the security and sticking letters up on a wall?

Then you're even more stupid than you look.

Let me be clear, I'm not a fan of Theresa May by any stretch of the imagination, but none of those issues are her fault.  Now, if she's suddenly been found to have embezzled £10m from the public purse to spend on Veet or she's found to have Madeline McCann at her house then call for her to step down.

If she makes terrible decisions in future policies, call for her to step down.

Asking her to step down because she's got a cough is absolute lunacy and you need to get yourself in the fucking sea.

And finally...

What has happened to comedy?


Hey, welcome back!

This time let's start with Ragwatch and in particular an article about paedophiles & chicken nuggets.


Bake off bruhaha

It all kicked off in Bake Off last week when Noel Fielding began the show hiding in a fridge.

Apparently loads of snowflakes were offended by it because they "thought" that it might encourage kids to get in the fridge.

Now, I don't watch Bake Off but I'd like to defend Noel's actions as thus:

1 - The fridge was empty other than having Noel in it.  Who the fuck has a fridge at home with nothing in it?  Apart from poor people, granted.

2 - Noel Fielding is known to be a bit off the wall, doing "kerazy" things.  This is just another one of those.  Leave him alone, you dicks.

3 - Kids don't watch Bake Off.

4 - Kids don't get in fridges.  Apart from those 3 kids in the 80's which gave us the classic Knock Knock joke:

Knock knock
Who's there?

Knock knock
Who's there?

Knock knock
Who's there?

Three kids in a fridge.

It really is a silly thing to get worked up about, isn't it?


The fox is in the coop

A rapist who had a sex change whilst in prison was moved to a female prison and guess what?  She has been placed in segregation after making unwanted advances to the inmates.

Martin Ponting still has a cock, but seeing as though he now "identifies" as a woman (by changing his name to Jessica) he's been transferred to a female prison.

Staff are said to be "stunned".  Really?  You really didn't see that coming?

It's a bit like a fox attacking chickens, being captured, telling his captors that he now identifies as a chicken and being placed in a coop along with said chickens.

And then wondering why the foxy bastard eats all the chickens.

I'm wondering if I was arrested for something I could "identify" myself as "innocent".

Gotta let me go then, bruv, innit.


Girl, you'll be a woman soon.  Possibly a man.  Or a tree.

Here's a rant about Gender Bollocks (And fannies)


Doing a lot of work for charidee

Mark tells us: Madness are releasing a charity record for the victims of the Caribbean hurricane. 

It's called, "Our house, in the middle of someone else's street."
And finally...
Here's a rant on Humourless nerks.
See you soon, bitches. 
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